Morning all, its 4 weeks since i lost Janice, the love of my life and best mate. Its 2 weeks since her funeral and contact from friends and family who “will always be there” is waning. I was expecting that, but combining loneliness with increasing grief, i can feel anxiety increasing. Sleep is a problem which isnt helping as tiredness seems to make self-pity much easier. Filling my days is becoming harder and i spend my time just wishing she was back to continue the lives we hadnt finished. Loved her so much and losing interest in life going forward.
Didnt realise grief could hurt so much.
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I am so sorry for your loss and no words can take the pain away so be kind to yourself
It’s early days and if you have managed to put one foot in front of the other and got through the day then you have done well…Talk to family and friends about how you’re feeling and talk.to yoir GP if not sleeping becomes a real problem
Keep posting on here we’re all.walking the same path and are at different points along the way but have time to listen and support too x
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Hello steve
I am sorry for your loss no one can see greif. Greif is on the inside but we can feel greif it can be felt and I feel your your greif you are not alone. Breathe. We are always here to talk.try having naps insted of sleeps talk to your GP they can be helpfull sending much love
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When someone asks “you doing ok?”, we instinctively reply “yeah, im ok” when in fact we’re not. Little point in saying anything else as there’s no point telling them that your life consists of bad days and worse days. 4 weeks since i lost janice, the love of my life and best mate and reality is beginning to bite. She isn’t coming home ever again…and realising that hurts much more than anyone can ever know unless you’ve been there. I know its partly self-pity which serves no purpose, but if that’s the way your mind works, it’s got to be dealt with.
Today is a worse day.
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Hi Steve just reading our group chats before I go to bed to try and sleep.Its true I too say I am OK when I am far from it. I understand totally that feeling of loss emptiness being alone .Its the same feeling we all have at the loss of a partner and for me also my only child earlier this year.Why shouldn’t we feel self pity the worst thing ever has happened to us and to realise the person, people we love will never be seen again by us seems so unreal.People say times a healer it’s not my hubby 11 years I miss him every day but always had my son for support now I miss them both every minute
of every day but I carry on nothing else I can do.Some days I feel if I didn’t wake up it wouldn’t matter.But I do and I carry on for them.But god I miss their love I was special to them as they were still are to me
You were special to your Janice as she is to you.Just got tocgo on Steve take each day at a time and maybe next day may not be as bad as the last .What do I know? Just sending best wishes to you xx
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I, and others now, use the expression: “I’m totally shit, but thanks for asking” which seems to work as it acknowledges their care (?), but doesn’t say you are OK. Hope that helps. And when someone says: “I know how you feel as last year I lost my Mum, dog, hamster etc” - I say “thanks, I feel for your loss, but unless you’ve lost your soul mate you can’t understand; it’s not your fault, but it would be like explaining colours to a blind person”.
I’m six months from losing the most beautiful, strongest, girl in the world - and who loved me unconditionally - so I hope as you lost yours very recently, these words may help you?
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Hi Dennis yes I will respond in that way thanks for that x
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