Receiving Christmas cards

1st Christmas card received through post today wishing me a happy Christmas I know people mean well but they only put my name on the card not a mention of Mick

Hi Kim, Its hard isn’t it I have had quite a few cards so far and luckily not too many wishing me a jolly, happy, festive season. A few ’ thinking of you’ ones but I had one the other day which said ’ Heard the news hope you are surviving’ from a woman who actually crossed the road to avoid me when I first lost Colin so that went straight in the bin :angry:


Hi very hard I find friends avoiding me like you crossed the road and just waved actually stated I can’t speak to you really I’m not contiguous I know people don’t know what to say but I find it worst avoiding us. I think I would have binned it as well hate these saying we will survive stay strong you will get through it how do they know sorry rant over bad day. I suppose people don’t know what to say. So sorry for your losses so close together. You make me smile with some of your posts x

Like you Kim I would rather they spoke than treated us like lepers. I hate all the trite crap that gets said to us but as you say folk don’t have a clue what to say. Can you believe how long we have been on this journey now :disappointed_relieved: I think we are round about the same length of time. I am sorry you are having a bad day Kim I had a meltdown last week, this time of year doesn’t help :roll_eyes: Glad I make you smile, at least I still have my sense of humour :wink: x


It is hard receiving Christmas cards but i had one today that gladdened my heart. It was from my ex son -in- law who has been desperately ill and in hospital for the last 6 months and nearly died twice. Until Mike died we hadn’t had contact since his marriage to my daughter broke up 19 years ago. He promptly contacted me as soon as he heard about Mike and has been a support ever since despite his own problems. His card simply said “It’s not your best Christmas but get out of it what you can” That was so kind of him . Incidentally my daughter hasn’t even contacted me since I’ve been on my own. it says it all!

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I recieved my first Xmas card today . I don’t want any Xmas cards I’m too broken to even think about Xmas and celebrating so in the bin it went x​:broken_heart::cry:

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That was nice of him Jean x

i think the same i have said to friends family please do not send me cards i never sent cards i always gave to a charity instead the amount we send on them i only kept micks cards the others were binned x

Hi Jean.I think your neighbour was probably feeling lonely herself and genuinely may have wanted a chat with you. I don’t think she wanted to bring you down, not deliberately anyway. I know people say tackles things but until you suffer the grief that we have suffered you are treading on eggshells with what to say. You see I would have loved my neighbour to ask me round for a chat when Ron died because I wantedto get out of this damn house for any amount of time.I appreciate that we are all different and people say stupid things but I think your neighbour was still feeling a loss herself. Hope you don’t mind me mentioning this but I know when Ron first passed I wanted anyone to ask me in for a cup of tea and a breath of empathy.

Ladies, I’ve been having my own “can’t wait till it’s over” thoughts about Christmas too. I spoiled last Christmas quite a bit last year by not buying a real tree, which was what my wife wanted, but I couldn’t really be bothered - which I now regret, because my wife loved Christmas. After much internal debate, I’m going to put up an 18inch plastic tree that I bought for us the first year I met my wife, later this week.
I have received 3 Christmas cards so far, all addressed to me only. I had already told relatives that I wasn’t going to send out any cards (even for my dad’s 97th birthday tomorrow) and they didn’t have to send me any either (I didn’t want them wondering how to address them). But two of the cards I’ve received are from my wife’s cross-stitch friends in the USA, and I’ve already sent one card back, will do the other this week. They had both written lovely messages in the cards, and said how much they missed Nicki, I thought replying with cards was the least I could do.
My wife and I used to keep our old birthday, Christmas and anniversary cards, mainly in case she wanted to use any for her craft projects. Yesterday I found an old Christmas card from my wife to me, addressed to my “wonderful husband”, and one I had sent to her (I was never very good at expressing my feelings in my card writings). My heart ached as I read my wife’s message to me, she always wrote such loving, meaningful messages. I think I might put both those cards up for Christmas, just to remind me of what we had and to help me feel that she is still here.

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Same again received Christmas cards from close neighbours only to me it’s so sad

It’s a constant reminder of what we’ve lost, a stab in the heart. :broken_heart: :cry:

Hi coming up 9 months like you say don’t know where the months have gone because days nights are so long x

I didn’t get as many cards as usual this year so far and I am glad because as someone said above they now have the same status as the dreaded brown envelopes about being “deceased’s representative” when I see them lying on the doormat.

The worst is when I am handed them in person though. I don’t know what to say when I see my name there alone on the envelope and try to hide my contempt.

I threw some away already when they just say my name on or left them unopened . I put one up that said “thinking of you at this time of year” handwritten inside from a neighbour and addressed just to me but I don’t know if they know René is dead or just think he left me as I haven’t told any of the neighbours on purpose (there are a couple of bad households I don’t want to know René is not here) but I put it up just because of the curiosity of it and in a place I can’t see it.

Had one today from my husband’s brother who has learning difficulties and can hardly write, I put that one up because it reminds me of my husband but it also made me cry as often his brother forgot to send us a card and we always sent him a parcel as we were the ones looking after him but now I am the one he is pitying as he signed from him and his girlfriend in shaky handwriting. I didnt send any parcels although we had bought some of the things for the family already. Maybe next year.

I haven’t and won’t be sending any cards. Maybe next Christmas but I can’t imagine ever sending one just from me. I hate this.


I have told everyone no cards from me this year. It doesn’t seem right not putting Frankie’s name on them. My neighbour knocked this evening with a parcel that was “left in a safe place”. She gave me a card and a beautiful tree decoration with his name on. Lovely gesture from the heart. It made me think. Frankie loved Christmas so I will celebrate the best I can. I have decided to name a star after him for Christmas💙