My darling husband passed away three weeks ago now. The pain is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. It’s just so raw. To make matters worse it was his birthday yesterday and will be our wedding anniversary in a week or so.
He had significant health problems over the years but always seemed to bounce back from them. I’m really struggling with how cruel life is.
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Life is definitely cruel at times. Those early raw and painful weeks will pass, and things will get a little lighter. Grief is all consuming at times but embrace it and let it have it’s moment then let it pass till the next time. Take it slow, hour by hour if necessary and live in the now, tomorrow isn’t guaranteed and as much as you might welcome that, the reality for us survivors of loss is that our lives go on.
Keep posting here as we’re all in it, some just starting, some further on the journey and some way ahead and everyone will support you as you will support others coming behind you.
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Thankyou so much.
Reading through others experience of bereavement has helped a little today. It makes everything seems less lonely
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It’s coming up to 4 months since my darling husband passed and it’s not getting any easier in fact I would say getting worse as time goes on.little things just set of a longing to be with him .Like seeing throat sweets in a bathroom cupboard that he was taking to stop him coughing as he caught Covid in hospital.I still don’t want to wake up in the mornings.
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I know exactly how you feel. 7 weeks for me. He died 2 days before his 71st birthday and it was our 50th wedding anniversary on Friday. He was diagnosed in 26th may. Went into hospital 28th may. Died 6th June. No time to get used to the fact that he was dying. I could not stay with him the whole time as I have health issues. It is without doubt the worst pain ever. The pain is gradually reducing. I am trying to be positive and forge a new life as he would wish.
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Hi
It has been 5 weeks and 3 days since my husband passed away sudenly at63 years of age. No health conditions so was complete shock. We were due to celebrate our 36 wedding anniversary but not to be. I still cry when at home as it is still early days. Everywehere i turn is memories of him I cant bear ro move anything. I try to keep busy during the day but the nights and weekends are hard.
I am trying to keep positive as i know that is what he would want and he would be unhappy if he thought i was crying snd upset. Please try to keep positive thoughts although i lnow at times this is impossible. Take care x
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Letty, my husband died just over 2 weeks ago. He’d had poor health most of his adult life but he declined rapidly over the last few months. I knew he wouldn’t be coming out of hospital but the shock of watching him die will not fade; I keep replaying that day in my head over and over. I’m totally lost without him and it will be a long time before I’m ready to fully face the world. One minute I think I’m going to be ok then a huge wave of despair comes along. I am just going to focus on standing up, facing forward and putting one foot in front of the other but right now that’s really hard. Sending you my best wishes; I completely understand how you’re feeling xx
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I feel for you very much. It is early days for me too. Husband passed away 10th June, only 39 and entirely unexpected. Everyone is different but I keep going from shock, to denial, to not feeling anything sometimes. It’s very hard to know where to turn.
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My beautiful wife passed away four weeks ago on Tuesday from Acute Myeloid Leukemia, like you I have never in my life experienced such pain.
I have just come back from yet one more session walking along the seafront in floods of tears,the crying is such it’s leaving me with a pain in my chest. My wifes birthday is the 27th July and I loved buying presents that she would squeeze when wrapped to guess what it is/they are.
I really believe that the grief is driving me insane,one minute I know she’s gone but the next minute I’m thinking she hasn’t. I really do sympathise with you,truly it’s almost beyond any understanding.
I wish you strength at this terrible time.
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Miker I’m so very sorry for your loss of your wife. Like you I feel I have been robbed of mine and my husband’s future, that we had so much more to do in life.
Today I’ve had a glimmer of hope in this dark time. It has made me realize that there are people that genuinely do care, that do understand and are there for us if we let them be. I truly hope you find your glimmer of light and that even though it is early days in your grief that you find a little peace.
Taking each day as it comes is a well worn adage but it’s all we can do. We need to find our own path, to carry our love for our lost partners on our journey.
I wish you well.
Ezzie, your situation is so similar to mine. My husband has heart failiure and was a kidney transplant recipient with multiple other health problems, and had spent more time in hospital than out over the past couple of years. I expected him to be on the ward for a couple of weeks as his normal stay used to be, but he passed away after five days.
The reality that he wasn’t strong enough to fight Sepsis was a harsh one to face. I’d become too complacent that he had his routine of short hospital stays. I feel so guilty that I could have seen the signs earlier, that I could have done something. I know that’s not the case, but it doesn’t stop me fretting about it. The “maybe if I had…” thoughts just won’t leave me.
A glimmer of hope for the future happened today though. I’m going to hang on to that. It’s all I’ve got at the moment but I need to embrace it. It’s what my husband would have wanted, I know this.
I hope your pain becomes more bearable, that you find your glimmer of hope. I’m here if you need to talk. I’ve been so grateful for everyone’s replies to my post. They really do help.
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Thank you, Letty. It was sepsis that took my husband too. That, with his other illnesses which made him too weak to fight. He was able to come home for a few days before being back in hospital and died a week after that. I think I knew he wouldn’t be leaving hospital but I was in denial about just how ill he was. I was there when he passed and I keep replaying those final minutes over and over again. This is the dominant picture of him in my head, not the gentle, funny, clever man he was. I’m hoping those final images will fade in time. I’ve cried a lot today.
I put my life on hold these past few months but after much persuasion from my daughter, I’m going to the hairdressers tomorrow; the first tiny step towards the new normality. You are in my thoughts x
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Thank you ever so much for your reply and sorry for the delayed response. Sometimes I can’t bear reading the painful messages on here because I can and do feel the pain of those writing them.
I am reading about people who are struggling financially,who have restricted mobility,who are alone with no support,who then have to cope with everything that grieving brings and in most cases the loneliness too … how on earth are we supposed to cope with all that I ask myself. It doesn’t make me feel any better about my situation but it does help me think of others.
Yes,I hope that I find a glimmer of hope so thank you. Take care and keep going.
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It’s been 9 months since my husband passed away from lung cancer. I’m going on holiday with my son & family but I’m really struggling to be excited.
I feel so unhappy and tearful and I don’t really want to go as he should of been coming too.
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Hi
I know it has only been 6 weeks since my husbsnds death i know it is early days but it has been worse this last week. I thinkni qD kept busy during thus time. My daughter gas gone back to Australia and i really niss her and was hoping to go over doon towards the end if the year but not sure i am strong enough to do this.
I dont have any other support here so feeling a bit lonely. Hoping to start volunteering so this will help with meeting new people.
I think you should go on holiday with your family i know it wont feel the same without your husband but they will be least abke to support you or give you space ehen you need it. Take care Look after yourself. x