Recurring nightmares

I’ve just woken from another distressing dream,I keep dreaming of being completely lost and in a terrible panic as I can’t find my way home.I looked up the meaning which tells me these dreams indicate anxiety and and being completely overwhelmed and wanting to find normality in life.well I don’t need Freud to explain that one!Is anyone else experiencing these dreams? Love and peace to all Corinna xx

Every single night I have the most distressing dreams of death and illness. My mum is in all of them. And I wake in a panic every night at about 4am. It’s hideous.

Last nights dream was that I was asleep and I could smell cigarette smoke. My mum used to smoke. So I said to my husband can you smell that. I raced downstairs and my mum was in the kitchen and this was the kitchen in my old childhood house. She was washing up as usual. I shouted mum. She turned around and we were chatting as normal. I was so happy. Then she went up to bed and said. Why can’t I feel anything or see myself. Dad whispered to me “she doesn’t know she’s dead”. And then it was like an exact replay of her in the hospital bed and us telling her she had cancer and was very poorly. She started to cry and then disappeared. I’m so shook up and heartbroken all over again.

I also have nightmares… wake up running round the house etc. My husband and two sons who have all died are in my nightmares. I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD/complicated grief and am on the waiting list for EMDR therapy.

It’s so hard … seems so real in the night. I have kept myself awake all night to avoid them. I think when it’s this bad you probably need help with therapy/counselling.

I don’t know how we get through all this but we need sleep… I have them three or four times a night mostly.

This may not be the site for this post but I will say it anyway. The unconscious mind, over which we have no control, speaks to us in symbols about our present circumstances. The language of symbols and metaphors is the only language it knows. Your conscious mind is in turmoil and, whether we believe it or not, so much of the pain is repressed. This is not a conscious act but one which the brain undertakes to prevent too much suffering.
Now is it surprising that when in a dream state our unconscious mind comes to the fore and relives repressed memories? But dreams always have a message for us. It’s useless looking up dream books. Dreams are very personal to the individual, and it’s necessary to know that individual before we can analyse.
If you can, and it can be difficult, write down your dreams and look at them in the light of day. Ask what they are trying to tell you. Freud said that dreams are ‘The Royal road to the unconscious’. Carl Jung went further and suggested that the dream world had a reality.
Are your loved ones trying to communicate? Who knows! It may be so. Try and take the fear out of it. Just as grief is a process so are dreams. They will subside as time passes, but don’t underestimate their importance.


Thank you for your input Jonathan… I have just starting trying to write stuff down when I wake in a panic during the night. One of my horrible bits are my two sons and husband walking away then running into a Forrest and I can’t catch up with them. Then one of them turns and says go back mum you can’t come with us you aren’t dead. It does t sound as scary as it really is in the day time … at night it’s awful.

I will carry on trying to write them down and look at them in the day time. I hope others will give this a try too … can’t make anything any worse that’s for sure.

Love to all here, Sue x

Yes Johnathon, I do look up what my dreams mean, I’ve only just started writing them down as soon as I remembered them, they did have a significance and the interpretation was correct, it was all my subconscious telling me what I already knew.
My husband was in these dreams guiding me, trying to communicate, like you said, who knows, but it has brought me inner peace.

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What an amazing post Jonathan. Honestly your words continually never cease to blow me away and Bring comfort.

This is a little bit different but in my previous marriage I wasn’t happy but had no idea what to do about it, however I continually dreamt that I was trapped and trying to get away but running to nowhere, I could never outrun whatever was chasing me although I was never actually caught. I would wake up in such a state. Eventually that marriage did end and the dreams I had been having for years ceased. I had managed to outrun my nightmare.
Now Brian comes to me and my dreams are wonderful. His presence makes me feel so much stronger knowing he’s not far away.

The nightmares are still so terrible. I’m lucky if I get 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night but, after 2 years, I think my system has got used to surviving on just a few hours a night.

I’ve also been diagnosed with complicated grief and PTSD and have been having counselling for the past 18 months.

They keep trying to get me to talk about my dreams, but they’re so horrific and twisted that I’m too ashamed to describe them to anyone. How is all this stuff in my head? I never thought I was a bad person but i must be to have all this sick stuff in my subconscious. It’s got so bad sometimes that I’ve even taken to keeping a bucket in the bedroom because the dreams make me physically sick.

I wish I could have the nice dreams of Clive, but I’ve only dreamt of him 3 or 4 times since I lost him and even those left me shaken and unsettled.

God, I’m a mess arent I? I often think it would have been so much better if I’d died instead - Clive would have coped so much better without me than I do without him.

Hi HAD had a dream shortly after our beloved Dawn passed away (and I can say the only one ,and its almost 3years) And she popped her head round the the corner of our kitchen and hi ya , something she always said ,she looked so healthy and happy , it was so lovely seeing her like that ,as she had looked ill for a long time. A few months later , our grandson who was 17years at the time , said nanny I saw Aunti Dawn in my dream last night , she said hi Jack, and he described her exactly how I saw her in my dream , I just could not exsplane it . as it would not be normal thing he would say. Maddie .

No Shywise. Oh NO!!! You are not a bad person because you dream bad things. This is one of those situations where understanding can help so much. From the moment we are born our ‘computer’ is switched on and we become programmed. Everyone has an input. Our parents, teachers, friends, the environment we live in all play a part. They do you know, even though we think we have that ability to think for ourselves. Our conscious mind sorts out what we what to remember and what we don’t. We ‘suppress’ (not repress, that’s different) what might be too painful to think about. That’s a conscious act and we can recall it all if we wish. ‘Repression;’ is an unconscious act. An event is too painful to think about, so it’s put into the ‘black hole’ of the unconscious but is never lost. Something may ‘trigger’ it and bring back emotions that happened at the time, but rarely what caused the event. PTSD is like that.
But!! it’s all about energy. Dreams are energy as are emotions, and they will come out in some way. When you sleep you have no control over your unconscious, so the barriers are down; Inhibitions are dropped and your unconscious mind digs deep finding ways of expressing itself to you in symbols and metaphors. Any dreams you find painful or nasty may well not be so at all, but an expression of your longing for clarity and a way out of the confusion we all suffer.
Try not to be ashamed of your dreams. They may be of a personal and intimate nature but still need expressing. A wise counsellor will listen and explain. It’s not ‘sick stuff’, no way!! and I suggest you stop thinking that. And stop saying you are a mess. You can so easily wish yourself into a mess.You are no more a mess than than any of us on here. Trauma can play nasty tricks with our minds. It will pass and keep on with counselling. That can only be good. Best wishes.

Hi. Maddie. Why would it not be Dawn trying to communicate? We just can’t dismiss such dreams as being ‘just dreams’. Oh no! She looked healthy and happy. Well she in all probability she is. It may be three years since it happened, but we mortals think in terms of time when its’s irrelevant in another world. Be grateful that you have dreams like that.
Your grandson’s dream a Coincidence? I think not. I hope you all continue to be blessed with such dreams. Best wishes.

Hi Pat. Your post raises the question of unresolved situations. You were trapped and your unconscious was telling you so. Running away but never caught! How interesting. Has it occurred to you that your dream was telling you that in no way would you ever be ‘caught’ in a situation like that. That you are a strong person? That you would survive? You woke up in a state when all that was happening was a very useful message coming through. Dream analysis is a fascinating study. Dreams are so important and should never be dismissed as ‘just dreams’.
Now, from someone you love, good dreams come. That can only be good and a decided improvement in your grief. Blessings Pat. XX

Thank you for that Jonathan. It’ll take a while to process what you’ve said, but I will try.

HI ,I hope you are so right , the only thing Dawn passed DecembER 2016, and I have not had anything since. What I cant understand when something unusal happens in a day , you end up dreaming about it . Dawn is on my mind 24/7 and I don’t dream about hEr anymore . I would love to see her in my dreams . Maddie

Hi Jonathan. Thankyou for replying.
With my dreams of trying to escape I never realised what they meant until my, then, marriage eventually finished. And then it became clear, I was trying to escape the marriage as the dreams ceased at that time.
Yesterday I went into a shop that sells crystals and spiritual things. I saw something that interested me and asked if it had a meaning. I was told it was meant to stop troublesome dreams and bring good things and peace into the mind. By chance I found the very same item in Brian’s bedside drawer and sometimes wear it on a chain then I nearly lost it so put it back in the drawer. I was told to hang it near me at night and it would keep away bad thoughts/dreams.
I had a friend that always said that if you dreamt of someone it meant they was thinking about you.
I don’t have bad dreams now which I am grateful for and look forward to dreams of Brian. Not happened since the 14th September.

Pat xx