When I lost my precious husband at the end of June, it was almost the end of my world. Had it not been for our children and grandchildren, I don’t know what I would have done.
I have been in a very bad place since then and have been frantically trying to find comfort.
Our marriage was like many others. We were happy and contented. We bickered now and again, but we enjoyed being together and we adored one another.
The only things that are comforting me are these:-
I was always supportive of his hobbies even though I did not share them. He was always supportive of mine too.
I always stayed faithful in 54 years of marriage, and as a previous carnival queen, I turned a few heads!
I looked after him happily throughout his quite frequent health problems
I adored him and I think I was always kind.
Even when he irritated me, I still loved him.
So . . . Where do the regrets come in?
Well, I was not able to stay at the hospital for the night when he died in the early hours - I so regret not insisting on staying. I obeyed the damned nurse. Why didn’t I fight to stay?
My main regret is for him. He had got a bit better a week or so before the end. He planned to go out for drives in his beloved car, which he bought before his last illness and had hardly driven. It sits there looking at me and I am devastated by the fact he didn’t really have time to drive it.
We had plans to go back to our beloved France once travel was allowed. Of course, that never happened.
He was looking forward to seeing his beloved granddaughter qualifying in her chosen profession and she so wanted to qualify for him.
These things didn’t happen and I feel that he has been cheated. He would have done anything for the family he adored - and often did. Why oh why has he been cheated of all these things he was so looking forward to? Can anybody tell me? Please?.
Ann, I am sorry for your loss and that you have regrets. My dear dad died in April, he always desperately wanted grandkids, he never got to see any. He wasn’t able to see me get married. He died alone in hospital as we were not allowed to be with him. He had one holiday in the last 43 years of his life. There are so many things that I regret for him, there are so many things I wish he could have seen and done before he died, but we can’t change it and we sadly just have to get on with life and try and focus on the things they did manage to achieve.
Abdullah, thank you. I am so sorry that your Dad was also cheated out of his dreams. I suppose we ought to be thankful for what they did have but it always seems to be that the nicest people get left out. They stand aside for others.
I wish you all the best.
Yes, there are some not so nice people who have a great life and there are good people who suffer, we just have to try and celebrate what wonderful people your husband and my dad are.