Regrets

I’m struggling with the fact that we just didn’t discuss my hubby’s impending death. It was so soon after his diagnosis ( just two weeks) and I think we both thought we’d have more time.
Then he declined over night and wasn’t able to communicate. I will never know what he was thinking. What he would have said to me had he got the chance.
My only comfort is the last text message I received from him, which must have got held up in the ether as it actually came through while he was in surgery having his lungs drained and it said ‘I love you’ .

@Hope2, I know what you mean. We had 10 days from Steves diagnosis to his passing abd the last 2 he really wasn’t with it. When he came out lf hospital I gave him a note book so he could tell me things that I might need yo know. He only managed 3 notes but 2 was very personal and said what I had meant to him. Its all so hard isn’t it? We had agreed we would move next year but not discussed where to. I really would like his advice. Sending hugs as we navigate through the storm which is now our lives. Xx Julie

@Hope2 I understand and feel your pain. We never had the chance to discuss Tony’s death because he was expecting to come home in a couple of weeks not to be taken away from me on the 4th day in hospital. I saw him the day before and he was looking forward to coming home. I received a text from him saying that he loved me at night. The next morning he sent me a text to say that they were going to carry out a procedure on him. That was at 09:47. He read the text I sent at 09:48 but I never received a response. At 13:00 the hospital rang to say he was unresponsive and I lost him that evening. I take comfort that I was with him till he took his last breath. I held his hand and told him that Ioved him and I always will. It was a shock to me and I am still trying to come to terms of losing him.
It is hard for all of us. All we can do is exist one day at a time and hope that some day we will be able to live with our grief.
Thinking of you. Sending you love and hugs. xx

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Thank you Juliebobs.
So sad, but we have to be grateful for what we did have I guess.
I was lucky enough to have him in my life for 42 years and some people don’t find that love in a lifetime.
Big hugs to you.

It’s so hard however it happens. I lost Chris to a massive heart attack, no warning signs. He survived a week in ICU but never regained consciousness. At least I was able to be with him when he took his last breath, that was 20 weeks ago at 1pm today

Thank you Stargate.
It sounds like you had a very similar experience to me. Sending my love and hugs to you.

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Oh bless you Annde. You’re right, it’s never easy whatever the circumstances. It’s all very recent for you too. Sending you love and hugs.
It was a year ago last October that I lost my hubby and I want to let you know you will have brighter days ahead. We never stop missing them, how can we when they were everything to us? But we find ways to cope. Some days are better than others granted.
You’ll find your own way to get through. Just be kind to yourself.
I try to be grateful for all the little things. A walk in the park in the sunshine, meeting a friend for coffee, spending time with my grandchildren. Or I try and get lost in my hobbies. Crafting, knitting and doing up an old dolls house at the moment. Whatever you can find that will distract you for a while.
All the best

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@Hope2 thankyou. Not quite 6 years for me and Steve but I had known him for 35 years. So best friends. Xx not sure how we get through it but as people tell me its still early days. Xx

Thank you @Hope2 I do find that some days are easier than others. I try to keep myself busy and that helps but I’ve just had Covid and just felt so alone when feeling unwell and confined to my home. I did get out and take a walk round the park. These dark winter days are long nights don’t help. I will actually be pleased to see the back of 2023.
Hugs and comfort to you all. Ann

Yes I can definitely sympathise with you there.
You do feel it even more than usual when you’re feeling poorly. You just long for that hug and to know he’s there looking after you and telling you everything will be ok.
But we knew them so well, we know what they would have said, so I try to imagine that he’s there and I still talk to him. It does help.
In fact I’m sure he is still with me in spirit, guiding me and helping me through.

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