I lost my beautiful Dad at the end of October to a sudden heart attack. I was abroad at the time and I have been off work since, living with my Mum during this time to support her. They were together for over 60years and were never apart.
Tomorrow I’m returning to work and I can’t cope with the thought of it. I live the other end of the country to my Mum and my anxiety levels are through the roof despite now being on anti depressants. I’m still devastated and finding life in general hard to cope with. Often crying and angry at the slightest thing.
I can’t spend any more time off as I will go to half pay but I just dont feel anywhere near ready to go back. My job is in the NHS, high pressure and poor support. I dont know what to do, has anyone been in a similar situation?
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad, @Vicky1974. I’m just giving your thread a bump - I know many of our members have also struggled with going back to work. You might also find our support page on returning to work helpful to read.
Take care and keep reaching out 
Hi Vicky Do sorry to hear of the loss of your dad It must be a very hard time for you and the thought of going back to work to I was my dad’s carer so I now I’m the process of looking for a job which seems like such an impossible task at the moment More so as I can’t sleep any night of the week and can’t get over the fact I was not there when he died and also spent the last 6 weeks of his life in his flat when he should not have been put home Have you been back in touch with your doctor to say how you are feeling It must be awful having to go back to work when you really aren’t ready to go back to work It must be hard for you when you feel angry and crying at the slightest thing I am the same I am hoping time will help It’s not long really as they say My dad died I’m September last year Hope going back to work was not as bad as you thought it would be
Hi @1Bobbie
Thank you, i’m sorry to.hear about your Dad too.
It has been difficult, I had no choice but to return to work as I was going to be on reduced pay soon if I didn’t. I have been allowed to do reduced hours which is good as I’m not sleeping too great either. In a way the distraction has been good but the tears and anger are still there I just have to try to control that a bit more. Some people are understanding, others aren’t unfortunately. I think the key is to take it one hour at a time to get through my shift.
I hope you are resting as much as possible and be kind to yourself.
I can imagine having to go back to work must be hard for you I think that only someone that has been there can really understand I prob didn’t really though I could empathise but prob not this is the first person that I was close to that I have lost I have a diary I’m my phone and I wrote things in there how I feel if I’m angry upset etc I rvensg his phone to say what I would have said to him if he was here Like some news I would have told him I heard someone on the TV say who lost his mum of I speak about her I will cry but that’s ok as I will cry then stop a little and carry on speaking about her and I found that help full Yes one hour at a time is good advice Thetd Wil be good days for you and others not so good Thank you You too