There was a knock at the door about 11.20 last night, 2 police officers to say my Dad had died, we were told last May '21 he had a month to live, 2 months later my younger died which wasn’t expected, 2 days ago on the phone to Dad when he said he had pains in his chest, lungs and feeling sick, he phoned the dr who said I’ll send a prescription for a chest infection!! He got his covid jab last week, My sister she stated becoming ill after hers too, both had cancer, his lung hers womb but she was told she had atleast 5 years before it would spread, it was such a slow grade and slow spreader, she made 6 months and she was riddled, they just didn’t check her, antibiotics too, I tried to phone Dad at tea time last night no answer, my sister phoned to say she had tried too and she heard from her neighbour the police were at hers at 5 but she was out, we kept trying his phone then over the next couple of hours phoned the hospitals in Manchester (I live in Scotland and my sister Cumbria so can’t just pop down) she phoned the police in Cumbria to be told yes they had been at hers and need to see her face to face, they weren’t going to tell her over phone what was wrong, I then phoned Manchester police explaining we can’t get hold of my Dad, they put it to dispatches at 9pm, my sister still waiting for her visit, she phoned Cumbria police again saying is it our Dad we are worried, we can’t get hold of him they were getting a bit annoyed with her now and said the police will visit you tonight at some point just wait up, 11.20 I get the know, all they know he has died nothing else at this point from my police officer visit, my sister finally gets hers at 1.15am to be told he died at 10.30am not pm but am and we his daughters were being told nearly 13 hrs later, they knew when she phoned, they knew when I phoned and we weren’t told, we don’t know where my dad is just now, she was told phone back tomorrow, the police officers who were on duty aren’t back on until tomorrow afternoon then you will find out more. How is this even possible not be told your dad is dead, what happened, when it happened, who found him, my brain is it bits with questions and yet again in tbe failings of the NHS, they should of took him in when he phoned not left to die alone with chest and lung pains.
How dreadful for you and your sister, there does seem a lack of compassion and disregard for both of you from the police. At present your grief is distorted by angry which is quite understandable. The only glimmer of hope I can give is you could not have done anything being in the position you both are in and knowing the details are now irrelevant due to the time lapse may soften the distress you both have had to suffer, my heart goes out to you both. I just wish there was something I could say that may ease your pain and answer some of the questions. It’s hard when someone we love leaves us and when they circumstances are like you have described makes it a whole lot worse.
Thank you for sharing and I hope just writing about it has given you some comfort. If you would except then, I would love to send you virtual big hugs and my blessings. Sxx
Thank you for your reply, things did get worse, when we got to Manchester to sort things out we greeted with what looked liked a crime scene, my Dad died of a brain hemorrhage, we found this out 11 days later, they left the blood for us to clean, he was found on his bathroom floor, the blood started in his bedroom, he must of woke up then made his way to his bathroom, filled the toilet with blood, filled the sink with blood, hand marks on the sink where they slid, blood on the rug still wet where his head hit, splashes of blood on the walls, it was awful, the warden from the sheltered housing said they should of cleaned it not left it for us, my brain is in bits thinking of how scared he must of been and all alone
Hello, it all sounds horrendous and I do know how things when someone dies from a brain haemorrhage. From the start the person seems not to know what is actually happening to them and hope that may help you, a little. Please remember that blood as a magic capability of making itself seem to be far great amount than it actually is.
You and your family have been put through hell and no matter what I say you will be left with questions and memories that no one wants.
Life at present is surrounded by death and that will not be helping you or anyone who has lost someone they cared about.
It will take time for you to feel more comfortable about his death but please, I don’t think he would have been ‘with it’ to know or to be scared, the brain can and does close down before horrible things happen. He is now in a better place. Please look after yourself. S xxx