Routine?

Lost my mom 3 weeks ago suddenly and unexpectedly. She was only 58 and had no health ailments.
I am unable to do the usual routine stuff. I remember not brushing and showering in the first week. While I have started doing that, I still don’t feel like eating. I eat the minimum in one meal. I skip lunch and breakfast. I feel guilty to eat. I feel guilty to watch tv. The only thing I do is read grief articles, watch grief videos and how to cope, after life videos and spend time on this site. If I do anything else, I feel I am moving on and I have accepted the reality and if I have accepted the reality then I am ok with this loss. But I am not ok, not at all ok. So I don’t do anything. My sister and dad do not talk much Abt mom with me anymore because they want me to move forward. I don’t think a lot of people will understand but this is just how I am. I have overwhelming emotions going on inside me.
I know my mom would want me to eat and be happy but her chance to live a long life was robbed off her. How can I do it. Why there is no option to leave the world when your person leaves the world.
Do any of you face this issue? Moving on/forward seems like you are ok with the loss and therefore you do not do it …

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I’m so sorry about the loss of your Mum at such a young age, 3 weeks is no time at all, it can takes months if not years to come to terms with what has happened, you need to take a day at a time, some days will be better than others, that is the reality of grief, I think I cried every day for about a month when my Mum died, it was always worse if I saw other daughters out having a lovely time with their Mum, and she looked older than my Mum was when she died, it just made me so angry and upset, but it’s all part of the grieving process, sending love Jude xx

I had troubles with it in the first few weeks as well.
I didn’t eat and drink much.
I was nauseous all the time.
I didn’t shower much either.
Couldn’t stand watching tv.
Now I do everything like before my dad died.
Besides the contact of my dad then.
I’m doing much better now.
Hope you find a routine that works for you soon!
My messages inbox is always open!

I’m sorry for your loss.I understand how you feel after losing my mum last year,She was 52.Three weeks is no time at all.Its been over a year for me and it was hell at the beginning and the world didn’t make sense without my mum in it still doesn’t but for me time has helped things aren’t as raw as they were.Just take one day at a time or one hour at a time if you need to.Moving on does not mean your ok with the loss of your mum and the next year will have ups and downs but it does start to get a little easier as time goes on.I think when we lose our mum’s we lose a part of ourselves but you are strong and you will be ok.Everyone deals with their grief differently.I hope you find ways to cope.Just know your not alone.Take care.:slight_smile:

I want to give up. I can’t be in pain. Then i talk to my dad and see his condition and then i realize i can’t make him suffer more. But living is so difficult and i don’t think i will be ok ever.
Did you have difficulties during certain times of the day? For me it’s the mornings. Can you suggest what did you do ?

I’m sorry everything Is so difficult it will be for a while.I don’t feel time is a healer but it does help.I use to find the nights the most difficult and the mornings when I first woke up.Try to do things that will help distract you so your not constantly overthinking everything.Go for a walk.Write down a routine for yourself.Be kind and compassionate to yourself whatever your feeling its ok to feel.
Try mindfulness.Theres an app on Google play it’s called mindfulness based living and its free.It will help to stay you to stay grounded and it stops you thinking about the whys and what ifs.My mum was the first person I ever lost I never thought I could feel so much pain.Things will start to get easier it just takes time.I know the feeling of wanting to give up I felt it alot last year and even after 13 months it’s still hard but I’m starting to move on.I hope this helps some way.