My husband died in September. I’d known him for 50 years and we were married for 44 years. I’d been dreading Christmas but hadn’t realised the New Year would feel far worse. I feel physically ill as I don’t sleep and cannot stop thinking about his death which was very traumatic and now involves a formal hospital complaint. I don’t have family other than my brother and friends seem to have withdrawn. I feel there is no hope and no point to anything. My brother does his best but I realise I’m a burden to him. I am terrified to think I will have to spend the rest of my life on my own with hours and days of silence and nothingness. I have no confidence and no trust or faith in anything as the world feels like a truly horrible place. Has anyone else felt this way?
You are not alone. I too lost my Kenny on the 24th Oct, it was unexpected and I still can’t believe I’m never going to see him to hear his voice again. I’m lost, scared of everything and can’t see any future but I’m taking one day at a time, telling myself that’s another day I made it through. We didn’t have any family but I have two wonderful nieces and their families helping me through this nightmare, I don’t know where I would be without them. Please don’t think you’re a burden to your brother I too have a brother and he would be devastated if I thought the same as you, as I’m sure your brother would too. Sending you love and comfort xx
Yet another post I missed thanks to the anomalies of this site.
I’m so sorry you were feeling so alone. I had been dreading New Year as for me that was more about us as a couple.
I hope you are feeling more at peace now that significant time is behind you.
Love and hugs