Sad and alone

Hi. Just found this support group. Lost my soulmate and husband on Wednesday . What a shock! I am lost, lonely and confused.
How do I get through this?
Thanks Susan

Hi SusanAnn
I am sorry for your loss. Like you I came across this forum after losing my husband suddenly . He passed away on 10th May . All I can say at this time because you will still be numb & in shock is just get through each hour just now. Look after yourself, take peoples offer of support & help it does help.
Take care

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Hello SusanAnn

I’m so sorry to hear of the very recent loss of your husband. I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here, and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here:

Another good place to get support is is Cruse Bereavement, they offer a helpline, email support, and counselling and support groups through their local services: 0808 808 1677,,

Please continue posting on this forum. the community are extremely helpful to each other. They support in many ways, their experiences may help you through this very difficult time.

Take care,
Online Community team.

Hi Susan. Sorry you find yourself here. There are a number of regular people who have helped me. I lost my girl suddenly and unexpectedly 7 weeks ago. I’m still in total shock. She was only 53.
Unfortunately losing your loved one will change you forever. I still dread each day
I use this site for support as I need it massively.
Please keep safe

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Hi SusanAnn, My partner of over 30 years died 8 months ago. I miss him dreadfully. The only things I can suggest re ‘getting through’ are keeping busy, taking one day at a time, and looking after yourself like you would your dearest friend if she were in your position. This morning was a a tough one for me, but I had a structure, I went to the library and got some books out, then I came back home, had a hot drink and read a book. I felt like doing nothing, staring at the wall, but I knew that was unhelpful, hence the book. So important to get these ‘stepping stones’ through the day, at least it is for me. And if you need to cry, do just that, there is a lot of grief that needs to come out. I hope you have friends, and/or family you can talk to, but there is always this supportive group to turn to. Please take care of yourself, and all my love and empathy go out to

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Hi Susan
Glad you found this place, but soryy that you had to - I lost my June 5 weeks ago and even though each hour/day is hard, the people here do understnd, don’t judge and want to support you - at least that’s my experience. I come on here several times each day and somehow, it helps, Dave

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Thx for all of the support and understanding.

SusanNah I am so sorry. You will find a lot of support here and you can feel free to expres s anything. I often have thoughts and feelings that I think are crazy but I know that I can share them here and will not be thought of as silly. It can sometime be a pressure relief to actually write things down on here and lost them. For example I lost my love nearly five years ago I still grieve and cry . I speak to my husband I still wish for him and hope that all this is a dream. I hope you have family and friends for support. You can always ask questions and express your feeling here. Be kind to yourself.xx

Hello Susan Ann, so sorry for what had happened. It’s so recent, as Jools says you will be in shovk especially as your husband died suddenly. My husband died suddenly, too, on April 23rd and I still feel I’m not quite out of the shock. At the beginning I found it made me feel a bit numb and I felt like I was sleepwalking through everything, there was so much to do and I just kind of did it but not really being aware of much. Jools advice is spot on. Glad you found this site so soon, so many people who empathise and who understand exactly what you’re going through , you’re never alone and can come on any time, middle of the night even, when there’s no one to talk to. My husband died very suddenly 3 months ago, he had a massive stroke, never regained consciousness and died 5 days later. It just turns your world upside down and I can’t say it feels better now, though I do feel a bit more in control now . You need to look after yourself though you won’t feel like it but you are in shock and vulnerable, your immune system is weakened. Try and eat something healthy even if you don’t feel like it, maybe fruit , something quick and easy. Accept help and support from others even if it’s alien to you. It was to me, I’m pretty independent and thought .I should be able to cope, but the shock affects you more than you realiseMy daughter got me homeopathic Ignacio tablets and Bach remedy star of Bethlehem which I found helpful in the early days . Take care, be gentle with yourself and keep well. Sending love x

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Hi Jools1,

Are you feeling better? As the time passes I am feeling worse and my son started thinking a lot about this dad now. He is making excuses such as I am bored or thinking and lookingg sad. Td me yesterdday I thought my dad woukd have lived longer as I renember he had a conversation with his dad and remembering Andy said do not worrry we will live until 70s 80s…Of course my broken heart breaking more and more.
We all know life is cruel but i all wished my son, me or anyone did not have this experince too soon…

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Hi Nuran
Thinking of you & your son. It’s so difficult trying to be strong for the children but I feel my 2 daughters have helped me so much. I have cried everyday for 9 weeks and the past week have not really cried but still feel so sad, empty & scared.
Have you got good support, people to talk to?

I am lucky enought to have my in laws and ny husband brothers around. But what hsppening now they all get on with their life and children and my in laws are dealing much better than I do. It looks like to me their attitude is like we have not list Andy. I know they are in pain as well but I am more in pain them. So how they deal with grief started annoying me as I can not be like them and how?

I am the ine whose family ruined.

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Hi Nuran
I agree with you we were the ones who were married to our loved ones and spent every day together as a happy family. They had different relationships to us. It’s heartbreaking. We have a different type of pain. Do you have any friends for support out with your family? Xx

I have lots of friends but I am ready to see them yet as keep saying myself this is not fair, they are all with their love ones and they are. As what hapoened to me losing husband at 39 is not common it is a tragedy…
But I know in the end i need to find out how to get on with life!

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You will know when you are ready to speak with your friends. I am like you my husband was only 42 fit and healthy and working on the Monday .
I keep thinking why us why our family. We are going to just try & move forward day by day . Our beloved husbands will always be in our hearts. I believe Mark is giving me strength to help me every day and he is defo with us looking after our girls & me. He loved us so much so he wouldn’t leave us :heart::heart::heart: Xx

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While losing a partner at any age is in bearable losing them at a young age is even worse. That ontop of tragic circumstances is undescribable. My wife was 53 and going from all ok to being told and then 2 days with my girl is so painful. Although some of your loved ones were younger I feel the same pain. She had to get over so much including not being able to have children. Just miss my sweet girl

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Personally Jay, I don’t think age comes into it. My husband was 65 when he died suddenly with no previous health issues. Here one minute, gone the next. Can you honestly say that your loss is greater than mine? I don’t think so.
I’m am truly sorry for your pain and suffering, I’ve been there, I know what it’s like but 3 years on and I am learning to live with my loss. You will too. You may not think so but you will. xx


Same thoughts for me that Andy loved us so much he would not leave us at all, no doubt xxc

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I didn’t mean to offend you. And 65 is to young too. People just think when you are younger that you just move on and find someone else. And I have been told that. Please take what I put from someone who is struggling to come to term with my girl being stolen from me because the doctors misdiagnosed her for a long time. Then left with 2 days after diagnosis.
My world has fallen apart I’m on medication I never thought I would need and I am alone. I don’t want to be here. If I never wake up again it would not bother me

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Hi it doesn’t matter what age our loved ones were what matters is they were our loved ones our soul mates and we are all suffering the same heartbreaking loss right now. Each day is a struggle that no one else sees except us but we will get through each day :heart: