Sad

3 months down the line since I lost my lovely man. How do you cope with the pain? I have 3 children and six lovely grandchildren but they cannot fill that void my man has left. They are dealing with their grief in their own way but they’re busy with their families and work and I don’t seem to fit in there. I have such dark thoughts. I just want the pain to ease.

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Dear Sue69

Sorry for your loss. I am a bit further ahead than yourself and still struggle to be honest. We have two kids and two grandsons (one born after my husband died) and their grief and journey are very different from mine.

I can understand your comments regarding the dark thoughts. I am not sure that the void can be filled but I keep going because I need our grandsons to know what a wonderful person my husband was, how much he loved his family and share the principles which are core to our family values. Both myself and husband came from working class backgrounds where finances were extremely tight but our parents made sure we had a good life and I need our grandsons to understand that. Our kids can only convey some of this but they grew up in very different circumstances to me and their dad. That’s my reason for living (or if being honest) existing.

Please keep posting you will find support here from others who truly understand.

Not quite 3 months for me but I feel that days are getting harder. I have two young adult children and they are my only purpose in life now. Existence is what it is. All my plans, dreams and future have gone. I have no desire to do anything without him here. I still can’t quite understand how this became my life. Sending hugs

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I’m 3 days to the 3 months mark since my wife passed. This grief thing is very personal. No one and nothing can replace the loss. However much I want to ease this pain it seems to proceed at its own pace and I have on control over it. I can offer on advice but at least we know we are all on the painful journey together. I hope this makes you feel better. Sending hugs.

I guess the main issue is that I can’t see how this will get any different as that could only happen if he came back - which he can’t. Ultimately, more than half of this partnership has gone - he has and half of me has as well. A long bank holiday weekend here with no one to do anything with.

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