Sadness is overwhelming

I lost my dad 5 days ago after a long illness. Even though i was expecting it. Its hit me like a brick. Im absolutely heartbroken and struggling to accept his passing. I do have support from my family but still feel alone anxous and very upset. I worry about seeing people who will say how sorry they are etc at whats happened. As i just break down with recieving a text message. I know its still very early days for me. We havent even got a date for his funeral yet. But i just felt i needed to reach out on here for re assurance that i am not alone and days will get a little easier to bare in time. Any responses would be greatfully appreciated

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Hi @JoanneC,

Loosing a parent is a big change, & especially when it’s someone who has been a big part of your life, & been there for so much of it. Grief is a horrible thing for anyone to go through, & there can be quite a mix of emotions at times, just take it one step at a time. When my mom passed away 2 years ago, I spent a lot of time on autopilot, & basically trying to keep busy so I didn’t have to think about it too much. My brain seemed to create a coping mechanism, telling me she was just visiting my aunty, creating an alternative excuse why she was here, it meant part of me was waiting for a phonecall I knew deep down would never come, but 2 years later, I’m finally allowing myself to grieve, it doesn’t change the fact she’s gone, & it doesn’t change that it still hurts, & I still have moments when I cry remembering her, but at this point, it’s a burden I’m willing to bear.

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@Pandaprincess - I can really relate to this. It’s been six months since my mum passed, but it could have been yesterday. I don’t know what happens during the day… I must do things as no one is complaining about their food, washing , cleaning, or things I should have done etc, but I don’t remember doing those things, or anything for that matter. My brain is full but I don’t know what of. I seem to be blocking life out, living on autopilot, and it’s just as if mum was on one of her long hospital stays. Sometimes thoughts creep in and I feel an instant of sheer panic& horror, but it’s gone in a flash and my thoughts cut out. It must be a protection mechanism.
@JoanneC - I’m sorry to hear your dad has passed and I know how heartbroken you must be. My dad passed 13 years ago and I think of him every day. Of course I still had my mum then, and we coped together. It wasn’t easy, and I cried most days for months, but I can still hear his voice in my head, offering to make me a cup of tea, and happy memories flood in. I think you have to be kind to yourself and do what you need to to keep going. It’s your grief, not anyone else’s, and you have to let your body and mind do what’s best for you. I feel like I should take my own advice probably, because losing my mum has been a shock. If I’m pushed even slightly, I feel like I might break completely. Take care of you, you definitely aren’t alone.

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Hello, so sorry you have been plunged into a grief journey, it’s so difficult and emotionally exhausting, especially at the raw early stages. Literally take each hour as it comes. Don’t place any expectations on yourself for how you should be feeling. You will have all the admin and organisation to get through. I found these early weeks exhausting and so draining. I overthought everything relating to my Mum’s death (she died suddenly and there had to be a post mortem) and went over all her last days in fine detail. Just know that these days of shock will pass and then you’ll be in another stage of your grief journey. Keep reaching out and sharing how you feel, you aren’t alone…xxx

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