Sadness

It’s been nearly 5 weeks since I lost my dad and the sadness is overwhelming. I go from feeling angry to sad throughout the day and then in the evening I feel terrified that I can’t even remember what my dad sounds or looks like. I try to remember but I feel like even the memories are slipping away and they are all I have left.

The two months from finding out dad had cancer to him passing away were difficult. It was emergency after emergency in the last month. No time to make the happy memories like people tell you. Seeing someone you love deteriorate with cancer is horrific, it took everything. My greatest fear in life to lose my dad and it happened out of no where, in two months. Gone. A person with a life and a family who loves him. I don’t understand any of it.

Crying myself to sleep again tonight. I’m doing what people are telling me to do but I feel so sad and alone. Nothing is helping.

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I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad, @Katherine86. I just want to let you know that you’ve been heard and that you are not alone.

Your loss is still really recent and it sounds like your dad’s final months were very traumatic for you. You mention feeling angry, sad and terrified. I think many of our members will understand some of what you are going through right now.

You might find our Grief Guide helpful in making sense of some of what you’re feeling.

If you dad received hospice care, it might be good to chat to them about any sort of counselling or support they offer. We also offer free Online Bereavement Counselling which you may want to explore, when you feel ready.

Take good care and keep reaching out,

Seaneen

Thank you Seaneen. It feels like there is no outlet for these feelings sometimes.

People have been kind but they often don’t know what to say if i tell them how i am really feeling, but I also don’t want to lie and say I’m fine when I’m not.

The evenings feel particularly difficult lately probably because that is when I used to spend time chatting with dad.

I miss him so much. I’m sorry for anyone going through this. I knew it would be difficult but the pain is all consuming.

Hi. I’m sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my mum on 30th November to cancer too (pancreatic). She also deteriorated quickly, over the course of about 4-5 weeks and we have been running on adrenaline since then. We watched her basically waste away in front of us and although it was peaceful for her it was hard to see. I think I’ve now reached the same stage as you where I am just completely overwhelmed with sadness. I have no idea how I’ll ever not feel sad or empty again. I don’t really have any advice as such but just wanted to say that I can identify with what you’ve written and I hope time will help us process our losses and become less painful xx

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Hi Christie,

I’m very sorry for the loss of your mum.

I understand what you mean about running on adrenaline. When dad was ill and we were caring for him it took all of my focus and the stress of the situation meant it felt like i was constantly in fight mode.

Now that he has passed away there is such a void that has been left. I have been keeping myself busy but the emptiness is like nothing I’ve ever felt.

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I too hope that we are able to process the loss and feel less pain.

Xx