Saying goodbye.

Tomorrow is 4 weeks since my dad suddenly passed away. His ashes were returned to my mum today and tomorrow we celebrate his life ith family and friends.
I was not ready to loose him, I guess that’s silly to say as who ever is ready to loose a parent. I feel so sad and like tomorrow is the end, everyone will get together and many will walk away and my dad will be gone from their thoughts. This may not be the case but I feel so sad that this amazing man has to be a memory. I don’t even know if this makes sense to anyone else, just if it does how did you cope. I don’t feel like I can face it.

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I lost my mom 9 months ago and sometimes I forget. I was ‘lucky’ enough to be there when it happened as we live on different continents. I wasn’t prepared. I miss her so much. I regret all the things I didn’t say. I want to tell you it gets easier but it doesn’t. It just hurts a little less each day and the painful memory begins to feel more joyful. Like I feel more like my mom every day and I love that.

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It makes perfect sense. Many years have passed and I still ask my husband where he went. I will never be at ease again, I just want to talk to him and have his arms around me. How can he just not be here?

It is hard, I am sorry for your loss. It is such early days yet for you. But your dad will not be forgotten.

I didn’t get to say goodbye - my husband collapsed out walking the dog - I didn’t visit the funeral home at the time but regret not doing so.
Every night I ask - where did you go?
And I ask him to watch over us.

Just out of sight but not out of our hearts.
G. X

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Hello KJ22

When someone we love dies be it a parent, sibling or spouse they are precious to us and are lives are intertwined on a daily basis. Unfortnately, as you say some of the people who will get together to celebrate your dad’s life will walk away and he will be gone from their thoughts. This is true, so far as they won’t think of him on a daily basis but will think of him every now and then. This is because your dad was your life but sadly not theirs.

My husband died 5 months ago and I struggle getting through each day as I miss him so much. We were together fifty years. Like Rachel150 I ask my husband “where are you” and can’t understand how he can be here one minute and gone the next. Also like you Grandma, when I go to bed at night I ask him to look after me and my two grown up children and my grandchild.

It’s nice Devine that you feel more like your mum every day. I’m sure she would love that also.

Take care.everyonex

Thank you all. X x

KJ22 I totally understand. My dad died June 5th 2022. Take it one day at a time. I lost my mom June 2021. Be kind to yourself and give yourself the time you need to grieve.

Yeah that is true people including family members will come to the funeral, pay their respects, but get on with their lives after that. Also the calls and condolences get less and less. Don’t take offense at that. Remember your dad meant the world to you and your family. So he will always be with you in your heart.

Take care!

i recently lost my father I didnt get chance to say good bye . It hurts , But think of good times you had good memories . Try writing in a note book all good times and put photos of him next to comments . When its my birthday i am going to add some middle names to my name . My father was john Robert so i am going to get the female versions of that and add to my name . As others have said give yourself time Cry when you need to be silent and still when you need to . I am still coping with not saying good bye to him. So i think of good times to try and keep him close to me