Scared & alone

My mom passed away 2 years ago from brain tumors, because it was during COVID we took care of her at home, it was very traumatic, & now my dad has been diagnosed with COPD. I’m scared, & feel everyone is slowly dieing off, as I’m the youngest, I’m going to be left alone when everyone else is gone.
Also, my dad is a problem drinker, when he can’t handle stuff he drinks, which for me just means having to tiptoe round him, & usually when he gets colds & flu he tries to “drink himself better”, I don’t think he realises, a tot of brandy may be considered medicinal, but a whole bottle can make things worse, it slows down the bodies healing system meaning he stays iller for longer, which with the COPD could land him in hospital.
My boyfriend is generally very supportive, but still has both his parents, & a big family, so I feel he doesn’t entirely understand. I feel alone trying to cope & manage everything, I’ll admit keeping busy helps, but there are always those quiet moments when I have time with nothing to do but think, usually when I’m watching TV my mind wanders.

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Hello I understand ghat you are worried about your dad, but in all honesty it is not your responsibility
He is basically making himself worse and that’s not your job to change him.
Live your life how you want and let the medical world look after him.
Dont feel guilty about caring for yourself.


Hi @Lennastarr,
Thanks for your kind words.

@Pandaprincess . l understand your concern as you watch your dad use alcohol to numb his pain.
l had to watch my husband go down the same route and there was not a damn thing l could do about it. l knew the reason for his self medication. Harsh as it may sound l ignored it and went about each day as normal. Did not try to change his mind, because it is them that has to want to change, whatever you say or do will not make any difference.
Once you accept this and get on with your daily life, things will become easier.


Hi @Lotswife,
Thanks for kind words.
It’s not harsh to say we just let them get on with it, because as you say, there’s nothing we can say or do to make them change, they have to want to change, as hard as it is to watch.

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@Pandaprincess . Just to let you know l lost my husband in November but not to alcohol but cancer.
Chin up and keep going. Regards

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