Scared and gutted

Well today is my mams birthday, she died suddenly 8th feb and today is a real rollercoaster. I’ve kept busy as much as possible and now it’s just really hit me. I’m sat looking at how sad my dad looks, he had a stroke the same day she died and was in hospital. I am so scared it’s going to break him, I think to myself do I move back home and look after him. I’ve never felt so anxious and scared at the same time. It’s so heart breaking to see one parent sad and not have the other. How on earth do people cope with it? Will it get easier I really don’t want to take tablets or anything for it. I just don’t want to be scared anymore

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I’m sorry for your loss. Maybe you could move in temporarily to help him adjust, if that feels right for you? I don’t think coping looks the same for everyone, but the general advice is to live in the now as much as you can and take baby steps, not expecting too much of yourself. Keep busy even when you don’t feel like it and talk to someone, either a friend, a relative or a counsellor. You don’t have to take tablets, but sometimes it helps. All the best. :heart:

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If you can do, moving in temporarily could help you both. Three months on and I’m still at my mum’s, after we suddenly and unexpectedly lost my dad :broken_heart:.

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Thanks ulma, I know I have been talking and it helps alot it’s just night times when things get worse, I’m scare when I fall asleep as I keep dreaming that I’m passing out and can’t breathe. Everyday is a baby step, I may have to rethink about moving back to the area if it helps, yet my dad keeps saying you have to live your life still. So hard, he does have my brother at home so least it’s just the day time he’s on his own. How are you, hope things are easing slightly each day xx

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Hi Burgled, so sorry for you loss, I know how it feels when it’s so sudden.
How long as it been for you, if you don’t mind me asking?

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Thank you :yellow_heart:. I don’t mind at all. It was 3 months ago :broken_heart:.

@burgled,
It’s absolutely awful what we are all going through, I know we know eventually they leave us but you never expect it to ever happen you thing they will be around forever and when it’s sudden it’s even worse. Hopefully it’s get easier to live with as time goes in but right now I just live in the day by day stage, any think ahead and hate thinking of the past xx

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I know the nights can be difficult. Sorry about the dreams, that must be so scary. :pensive:

Your dad isn’t completely alone then, that’s good. Do you live on your own or do you have someone who’s there for you? You could stay with your dad and brother for just a week or two, without moving, to lean on each other through the worst of it.

Sending hugs!

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