Dear Gerbil
I would like that very much …perhaps we can help each other through
Deborah
Hi there
It seems to me that being scared is part of the grieving process because I am also having moments of worrying. I am an independent, private person also but have found that I will wake up worrying about anything that comes to mind, this is totally not like me. I lead a full and busy life and can now mix much better however this week I have had two friends injure themselves. One broke her arm in her garden the other broke her ankle when slipping off a kerb and she’s a fitness instructor and immediately I am worrying what will happen to me if this happens to me. How will I do shopping (no near family), how will I exercise my dogs, clean the house, get upstairs if it’s an injured leg etc etc. The list seems to be getting longer and I am coming up to two years. Now I am worrying about the responsibility of the house and should I sell it and find something smaller. The way I’m going a tent might be more suitable. Counselling didn’t work for me.
I can’t see what a GP can do about all these worries and I would NEVER consider taking medication. Any feelings I have I want to control them myself and not quieten down for them to come back even worse at a later date. Is there a medication that can take away grief anyway. I am not depressed, I am grieving.
I keep telling myself that nothing can be as bad as the loss of my husband, so what is there to worry about.
xxx
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Pattidot
You are mirroring all my emotions.
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Hi Pattidot,
I feel exactly like you and have the same unsettling and unfamiliar worries. I also always wake up with a queasy tummy which eases as the day goes on. Another new symptom!
Grief is bad enough without all the ‘extras’, don’t you agree? Hugs, Ann
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How can we contact each other I know you are not allowed to put personal info on here .
Hi Gerbil…Give me a little time and I’ll figure it out…meanwhile hold on I know its hard I’m sat here at 4.25am replying to you…Never felt like this before and
I get the feeling you haven’t either. People say such kind
things but I’m not listening it’s going right over my head
at present…know the feeling Gerbil?..cute name by the
way
Deborah
Kazzer…Your post broke my heart what an ordeal and please
tell people you are not coping I’m doing that and you are
right folk don’t know what to say…
Dear Community
Gerbil and I would like to speak or communicate directly
we think we can help each other …The Counselling Service
here is completely booked up …any suggestions?..anybody
familiar with the process of providing each other with contact details ?
Deborah bless your heart. For me the isolating was part of my grief … I wanted to be home alone so I could cry, remember, rant and rave… and no one else would be affected. I still do that sometimes now. It’s seventeen long painful months since my husband died, eight years since my firstborn son died and three years since my younger son died. It’s so so awful without them all … just me and our cat now. I don’t sleep much and have nightmares/PTSD related. The only thing that has helped me really is keeping busy … I have done gardening, decorating, clearing garage, shed, loft out etc. I’m not very good at doing nothing now. I think you can only let your grief be… tears are cleansing and necessary. You have to do it your own way … one day a d one hour at a time … walking helps me as does writing in a journal when it all feels unbearable. Be kind to yourself and don’t pressure yourself … we were lucky to have that kind of love in our lives … many don’t… I had 43 1/2 years of perfect marriage with my husband. It would never have been long enough. Sending you love and hugs 
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Hi Deborah, I’ve sent you a private message about contacting Gerbil.
It’s basically just a case of tapping her name icon (G) on the left of the screen and within the new window that appears tap Private Message.
Good luck.
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I have been reading this thread and can completely understand. Lost my hubby 4.5 months ago now and as time goes on the feelings of grief actually feel worse for me. I am now alone (apart from my two darling dogs) and live in a village and do not drive. Apart from walking to the local shop occasionally and walking my dogs I do not go out at all. Me and my hubby would always go out together to get shopping etc. but as he got more frail we did not go out at all. Now I feel as if I am in my own little bubble and I am almost dreading things getting back to normal and having to go outside my bubble and have to get taxi’s everywhere. I will eventually have to face going into town at some point or to the doctors which is quite a way away now as they have closed the surgery that was closest to us. I will have to be brave and face being on my own . I miss my hubby sooo much every day and still cannot believe he has really gone.
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Done …sent you private message…at least I hope you’ve received it ok?..
Oh luv
I’m reading your post and I feel like not only giving you a virtual hug…which is unlike me and often unwelcome but still I do…I have a small dog and he misses Chris I walk him
of course but although we live in a City I have never felt so
alone …I too was with my chap a long time (30 years) and
find myself in the house asking him “why he left me”…
I bargain too “i would give anything anyone if you were here
with me”…ridiculous I know but I’m doing it .I feel for you
and everyone on this thread we are certainly going through
it. It’s only six days since the Funeral and know exactly what
you mean …all of it
Deborah
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Oh country girl so sorry for your sadness. I prefer the isolation and lI ckfown didn’t bother me. I just want to be alone and think of my darling man. But at the same time I hate being alone because I miss him so much and still can’t believe he has gone. I am trying to organize private conversations with a couple of other
Ladies in similar situations. It helps to talk.
I’m reading your post and it’s as if you’re describing me. I have totally lost confidence in doing anything, and find it easier to do nothing except hide myself away. Don’t have anything to advise, but if it helps you’re not alone xx
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I’m lost I feel as though I have been cut in half I keep looking for this piece of me that’s missing. It’s just a living hell don’t know if I it will ever get better. People say time. Can I ladt that long I don’t k ow 
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Hi Gerbil, I am so sorry you are feeling so miserable and lost. I understand the feeling of being cut in half. I keep looking for my missing half too… it is just a living hell. But we have to believe that it will get better… or perhaps not so bad. It may never get completely better but instead we have to learn to live with our grief. Patience is essential!
I hope you received the private message from Deborah.
Take care, AL x
Hey…you will and must …I know what you are saying but
you have got to keep talking …use us
Hi Corrienne, welcome to the site and I hope reading and posting will bring you some degree of comfort. Like the rest of us, we’d rather not be here but we’re thankful to have this site.
I am so sorry for the loss of your lovely husband and even although it was nearly a year ago I’m sure you still feel like it was yesterday. I can quite understand the feeling of hiding yourself away and your lack of confidence. It’s 5 months since my wife died suddenly and I have been thankful for the isolation that the lockdown has given me. I live alone without any family close by so I can deal with my grief in my own way without having to answer to anyone. I still have to put on the brave face when I go out, but that’s not too often.
You are nearly 7 months ahead of me on this grief journey so there’s no point telling you it will get easier because you will know better than me. I just hope it will.
Take care, AL x
Hi Ann
Certainly sounds familiar, the ‘extra’s’ keep coming or perhaps were just not able to cope with the everyday ‘problems’ we would have thought nothing about before our loss.
Funny enough I can also wake up feeling queasy but it goes in a couple of minutes.
xx