Lost my husband nearly 7 months ago iv tried and is trying so hard for my boys but for the past 2 weeks i feel really really lost i keep having silly or selfish thoughts as my mum says i feel me and the boys would be better of not being here and being with my husband i know its stupid and selfish but i just cant see a way out of this emotional rollercoaster im going through i really im not coping at all

Hello Michi and welcome to our Community.

I’m so sorry to read of the death of your husband and that you’re finding things difficult right now.

Perhaps a visit to your GP to discuss how you’re feeling might help? If you’d like us to call your GP for you, we could do that. If you wanted to speak to someone sooner than you’re able to see your GP, The Samaritans have a helpline which operates 24/7 so you can call them at a time that suits you - their number is 116 123.

We also offer an video bereavement counselling service where you can chat to a counsellor via video call. This service is completely free to use and you can find out more at

In the meantime I do hope you’ll find some comfort here in our Community where people understand what you’re going through.

best wishes

Hi Michi, I feel for you and didn’t think you are alone with these thoughts, I have been in the big black hole of grieving, had counselling which helped and visited the G.P, all did help but time is the best, you just have to hang in there.
Your boys would not want a life without you and to do anything to alter their life is so very wrong. Your mum is only trying to help but sometimes it feels that you shouldn’t be here. Life without your sole mate is very hard, I feel it tested me to the limit and to be honest still does but I now know I just have to keep going until it is my time, whenever that is.
One thing that did help was the alternative therapies because they gave me a good nights sleep and once I had two or three nights of good sleep the world seemed a little better.
Please don’t feel alone, there are so many of us who are and have gone through this horrible thing of losing the one and only person you want to be with, life is cruel but I feel it’s testing us to see how strong we are and you have to be strong for your boys they have a life to live which they must do certain things in and you must be there to help them.
Keep coming back if you feel it helps, writing about how I felt also helped.
Bless you and your boys. S

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