It’s been 4 months since I found out my Dad died. I’m only 24, he was 50. He was in great physical shape. He told me he was in pain with his stomach ulcer. Went to A&E 2 times and they released him. Think he died at home shortly afterwards and his body wasn’t discovered till weeks later. It’s hard because I can’t help but feel like me and my Dads time wasn’t supposed to be over - we never even spoke about him dying. We had more memories to make. I can’t even believe this is my life - I didn’t think that stuff like this happened to me.
I’ve been his administrator so had to deal with his estate, organise the funeral, liaise with the coroners. I can’t help but feel like he didn’t receive the help he needed from the NHS due to Covid, so thats really frustrating. I checked his phone and he had rang doctors, doctors, doctors, 999, 111. I’m heartbroken, didn’t realise losing a parent would hurt so much.
Hi Sophie, I am so sorry to hear about your dad. 50 is way too young for someone to die, and so it is totally understandable for you to feel so shocked and cheated.
You should maybe contact the PALS team at your hospital and ask them to release all the medical notes they have on him from his two visits. 111 will also have recordings of all calls he made to them, and you should be able to obtain this information from them, as well as his medical records from your GP surgery. Of course, this is all very very stressful, you will have to do a lot of chasing around, and maybe you feel that it isn’t worth it, or you’re not ready to do this yet. That’s ok too. I am not sure how long 111 will store calls for, but the hospital records and his medical records at his GP surgery should be stored indefinitely. PALS usually ask you to submit a query within 12 months, and whilst they encourage you to contact them as soon as you can, at this moment you need to look after yourself and do what you think is best for you.
Thanks a lot for your kind words and advice Abdullah <3
Sophie, you have done an amazing job, in such difficult circumstances. I know you need answers, but at this moment in time, please put your wellbeing ahead of everything else. Do you have people in your life there to help you, I hate to think that you’re struggling through this all on your own.