I went to the local big supermarket today to pick up a small amount of groceries. My husband always used to do the click and collect but at Christmas we used to like going round and choosing things for the family get togethers. I should never have gone. I can only describe it as a truly traumatic experience. I kept seeing all the things we would have bought and seeing couples and families with trolley fulls. It was horrendous. Never again. I had a complete breakdown when I got home. The pain was unbearable. Anyone else had anything similar happen?
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I know how you feel Jean, I have all my shopping deliveredā¦ I went once to a Supermarket in August; havenāt been back since. Iām now avoiding all things Christmas, Iām having a ā normal dayā with my brother instead.
Come Spring, my house is going on the marketā¦ to many painful memories. Iāve been sleeping on my sofa for over 4 months and just canāt do this anymore.
I do think this time of year magnifies everything, I suppose we just have to just struggle onā¦ sending a big hugā¦ 
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i know exactly how you feel, and buying for one has no meaning at all.
i find myself filling a trolley and then i go back and put many items back on the shelf.
I see people smiling and laughing while i am just filled with gloom ,and i cant wait to make my way home.
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@Dottie72. Thank you for your lovely reply. I canāt think of anything worse than moving house at the moment. Itās strange isnāt it how we all differ in our grief. My son said he would move if he could as he imagines his dad all over his house from when we visited him and his family. I certainly wonāt go anywhere near a supermarket again for a very long time. It the constant pretence as well. Anyone who knew me in that shop yesterday would have thought I was ādoing wellā getting some shopping. They didnāt see the hopeless wreck I was when I got home! I hope you have a nice day with your brother. Big cuddle to you xx. Jean.
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Hello Dottie
I was out shopping the last bank holiday had been shopping many times no issues
But like you said when I saw families buying items for their bank holiday celebrations
I just had to get out of the shop
When I got to my car I just broke down
The overwhelming grief just hit me out of the blue !!
Itās summer time I hate
That was our time we would work all week then get away in our caravan when we both had the same time off
I am happy that people are happy enjoying their life
But sorry to say very jealous of them too
I miss my soul mate so much and like you said some days it is hard to keep going
I do try to keep myself busy all the time friends family hobbies work but when you want to share the happy things with the one you Truly Loved it is heartbreaking
On a positive I have all the happy memories David and I made together
I wish you all the best this festive season but like I said in another post
Do what is best for your mental health
It is OK not to be Ok
And if you need support go on line phone text email talk
There are loads of groups out there to listen non judgemental and be there for you all
Sending my love
X
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Itās been 18 months for me now and I still hate shopping and Iām getting worse at other things. I stopped for petrol today and it took me several attempts. I went in to pay and realised I didnāt know the pump number. I went out and had a look and went in to pay again, only to realise I hadnāt put any petrol in!!! I felt so embarrassed and I just hope nobody was watching me.
Iām not losing the plot but just very tired from not sleeping and I had just done a small amount of Christmas shopping which brought so many painful memories flooding back.
Itās such a long and hard journey we are all on.
X
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I know exactly how you feel, I literally only now went into my town & was walking around as if I was somewhere else, every little thing reminding me of my partner & as soon as I got back to the car I just broke down, this pain is too hard!!
Dottie I thought it was just me but Iāve been sleeping on the sofa since my partner died nearly 4 weeks ago, I canāt bear to be in the bed without her & she died outside the bedroom on the landing which I canāt get out of my head either.
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Itās just awful isnāt it. Itās just over 4 months on the Sofa; thatās why Iām movingā¦
I just canāt do this anymore. Once the season changes, house on the market. Martin and I had planned a move next year. We wanted out of the city and a move to the country; Iāll do it for both of us.
Sending a big hug to youā¦ xā¤ļø
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Thank you for your lovely replyā¦ xxxā:heart:
Snapā¦i am putting my house on the market tomorrow as i no longer think this house is my home, it now has no meaning to me at all.
i know a house move will not be plain sailing but i know i need a new beginning.
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Iām going to put my house on the market in the spring. It will be so difficult to leave as Ian worked hard to renovate it and everywhere I look I can āseeā him working.
But, I leave far away from family and old friends and I just canāt cope being so isolated. Iāve tried to make a new life for 18 months now but it just hasnāt worked out. Everyone is just so busy with their own lives that theyāve no time or room for someone new.
To be honest, Iām just so tired of trying ā¦ā¦ā¦
X
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I agree, itās not my home anymore, just a house thatās breaks my heartā¦. Hoping your move goes wellā¦. Sending love xā:heart:
I totally get this I just canāt go into a shop without hearing him say about what he likes or wants to get. I envy all the happy people laughing and joking. Me on other hand canāt stand seeing other couples happy. Why canāt I be still. My partner passed 5 weeks today and it still as raw then and now it was sudden heart attack and I just canāt get my head around it. So all my food deliveries are online or friends family do my shopping for me, I can manage wee shops where I live thatās my limit. But I have 2 hold it together for my son who is 12.
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Hello Jean. We lost our daughter, Rachel, just 22, in April 2018 to SADS, sudden adult death. Four years but am nowhere near getting over it. I have shopping delivered as canāt face going to supermarkets. I see things she liked, such as the battered tempura prawns and start crying. Am 62 now and she was our only child, I used to go several times a week and look for reduced food which had reached the sell-by date. You can get some good bargains. Havenāt been bothered since then. My wife seems better than me now but was worse at the beginning. I can just barely manage to walk the dog once a day. I canāt even say it gets easier as it hasnāt for me.
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We used to do the click and collect shop and i too the fiestvtime i xame home eithout him had a break diwn after a small shop. I dudnt go out ir see or speak to anyone face to face for days and stayed in bed as it was Christmas but vack toneork today as tge only earner in the house nos and no life insurance but each time i do new this or a small shop it is not the first tome and i push myself as it must get easier the numbef of times you do things that set you off musding them? Taje care and be proud you did the shop as he would be proud if you
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