Shopping

I went to the local big supermarket today to pick up a small amount of groceries. My husband always used to do the click and collect but at Christmas we used to like going round and choosing things for the family get togethers. I should never have gone. I can only describe it as a truly traumatic experience. I kept seeing all the things we would have bought and seeing couples and families with trolley fulls. It was horrendous. Never again. I had a complete breakdown when I got home. The pain was unbearable. Anyone else had anything similar happen?

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I know how you feel Jean, I have all my shopping delivered… I went once to a Supermarket in August; haven’t been back since. I’m now avoiding all things Christmas, I’m having a “ normal day” with my brother instead.

Come Spring, my house is going on the market… to many painful memories. I’ve been sleeping on my sofa for over 4 months and just can’t do this anymore.

I do think this time of year magnifies everything, I suppose we just have to just struggle on… sending a big hug… :heart:

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i know exactly how you feel, and buying for one has no meaning at all.
i find myself filling a trolley and then i go back and put many items back on the shelf.
I see people smiling and laughing while i am just filled with gloom ,and i cant wait to make my way home.

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@Dottie72. Thank you for your lovely reply. I can’t think of anything worse than moving house at the moment. It’s strange isn’t it how we all differ in our grief. My son said he would move if he could as he imagines his dad all over his house from when we visited him and his family. I certainly won’t go anywhere near a supermarket again for a very long time. It the constant pretence as well. Anyone who knew me in that shop yesterday would have thought I was ‘doing well’ getting some shopping. They didn’t see the hopeless wreck I was when I got home! I hope you have a nice day with your brother. Big cuddle to you xx. Jean.

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Hello Dottie

I was out shopping the last bank holiday had been shopping many times no issues
But like you said when I saw families buying items for their bank holiday celebrations
I just had to get out of the shop
When I got to my car I just broke down
The overwhelming grief just hit me out of the blue !!

It’s summer time I hate
That was our time we would work all week then get away in our caravan when we both had the same time off
I am happy that people are happy enjoying their life
But sorry to say very jealous of them too
I miss my soul mate so much and like you said some days it is hard to keep going

I do try to keep myself busy all the time friends family hobbies work but when you want to share the happy things with the one you Truly Loved it is heartbreaking

On a positive I have all the happy memories David and I made together

I wish you all the best this festive season but like I said in another post
Do what is best for your mental health
It is OK not to be Ok
And if you need support go on line phone text email talk
There are loads of groups out there to listen non judgemental and be there for you all
Sending my love
X

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It’s been 18 months for me now and I still hate shopping and I’m getting worse at other things. I stopped for petrol today and it took me several attempts. I went in to pay and realised I didn’t know the pump number. I went out and had a look and went in to pay again, only to realise I hadn’t put any petrol in!!! I felt so embarrassed and I just hope nobody was watching me.
I’m not losing the plot but just very tired from not sleeping and I had just done a small amount of Christmas shopping which brought so many painful memories flooding back.

It’s such a long and hard journey we are all on.
X

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I know exactly how you feel, I literally only now went into my town & was walking around as if I was somewhere else, every little thing reminding me of my partner & as soon as I got back to the car I just broke down, this pain is too hard!!

Dottie I thought it was just me but I’ve been sleeping on the sofa since my partner died nearly 4 weeks ago, I can’t bear to be in the bed without her & she died outside the bedroom on the landing which I can’t get out of my head either.

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It’s just awful isn’t it. It’s just over 4 months on the Sofa; that’s why I’m moving…

I just can’t do this anymore. Once the season changes, house on the market. Martin and I had planned a move next year. We wanted out of the city and a move to the country; I’ll do it for both of us.

Sending a big hug to you… x❤️

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Thank you for your lovely reply… xxx​:heart::heart:

Snap…i am putting my house on the market tomorrow as i no longer think this house is my home, it now has no meaning to me at all.
i know a house move will not be plain sailing but i know i need a new beginning.

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I’m going to put my house on the market in the spring. It will be so difficult to leave as Ian worked hard to renovate it and everywhere I look I can ‘see’ him working.
But, I leave far away from family and old friends and I just can’t cope being so isolated. I’ve tried to make a new life for 18 months now but it just hasn’t worked out. Everyone is just so busy with their own lives that they’ve no time or room for someone new.
To be honest, I’m just so tired of trying ………

X

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I agree, it’s not my home anymore, just a house that’s breaks my heart…. Hoping your move goes well…. Sending love x​:heart::heart::heart::heart:

I totally get this I just can’t go into a shop without hearing him say about what he likes or wants to get. I envy all the happy people laughing and joking. Me on other hand can’t stand seeing other couples happy. Why can’t I be still. My partner passed 5 weeks today and it still as raw then and now it was sudden heart attack and I just can’t get my head around it. So all my food deliveries are online or friends family do my shopping for me, I can manage wee shops where I live that’s my limit. But I have 2 hold it together for my son who is 12.

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Hello Jean. We lost our daughter, Rachel, just 22, in April 2018 to SADS, sudden adult death. Four years but am nowhere near getting over it. I have shopping delivered as can’t face going to supermarkets. I see things she liked, such as the battered tempura prawns and start crying. Am 62 now and she was our only child, I used to go several times a week and look for reduced food which had reached the sell-by date. You can get some good bargains. Haven’t been bothered since then. My wife seems better than me now but was worse at the beginning. I can just barely manage to walk the dog once a day. I can’t even say it gets easier as it hasn’t for me.

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We used to do the click and collect shop and i too the fiestvtime i xame home eithout him had a break diwn after a small shop. I dudnt go out ir see or speak to anyone face to face for days and stayed in bed as it was Christmas but vack toneork today as tge only earner in the house nos and no life insurance but each time i do new this or a small shop it is not the first tome and i push myself as it must get easier the numbef of times you do things that set you off musding them? Taje care and be proud you did the shop as he would be proud if you

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