Silence

David’s been gone 3 months.
I’m sat in the lounge looking out of the French doors… beautiful blue sky but chilly today.
Not a sound can be heard.
Looking at all the photos of him around me… such a handsome man I’m thinking why you!!
David died of a brain tumour … diagnosed march 9th this year.
Took him in 3 months.
It’s so very sad to think he won’t see any of his family again…his children… grandchildren… brothers sister … devastatingly I won’t see …feel him next to me…hold his hand feel his lips against mine…
He had so much to live for…it breaks my heart thinking how much he is missing.
He loved his family very very much.
I do have David’s ashes on the dresser in the lounge between family photos.
Talk to him every day…I ask him …can you hear me David…I hope he does.
He will be beside me in my heart for evermore :heart:

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Your words are heartbreaking Deborah. They describe what we all feel - those of us who have lost our spouse/partner. I often sit alone listening to the silence. I feel my man near me. I treasure those moments. I look up to the sky and try to make out his face in the clouds and sometimes I do, I really do see his face. Much love xx

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he is with you and is seeing everything…you just have to believe it and have the faith…death is incredibly heartbreaking…im sorry that your husband is not with you physically x

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The silence here too aswell although i have my daughter my partner was home alot and I still walk through the door from work and expect him to say alright?
Its so very strange and tonight ill be on my own again as my daughter staying at his sisters i have my partners ashes here in his casket ready for his internment whenever that will be (long story) he is infront of the fireplace as too big to go on top so in a way its nice that its just me and him again tonight although i wish he was here properly even if he was just snoring on the sofa x

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I went in the garden yesterday and looked up to the sky just staring …just to see if I could see a face…I did but it wasn’t David’s…
I went to bed earlier last night about 11pm normally it’s in the early hours of the morning.I lay there turning to David’s side of the bed just hoping he is there next to me.
I had a decent night’s sleep.Didnt cry last night and not yet this morning…
My daughter is coming round shortly after taking children to school …to take me shopping.
I best get sorted.
Of course we don’t buy much any more. X

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I’m so very sorry for your loss, like you a brain tumour took my husband of 50 years. I only had him with me for 3 weeks after the diagnosis then he was gone. I have his ashes in the lounge. He told me he wanted to be somewhere where he could still watch Corrie so I’ve given him a good view of the TV.
Do you meditate at all, I do and I often feel my husbands presence, it may be a sudden memory of the way he smiled or maybe just a tingle down the spine. We never walk alone.

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I’ve never meditated …I haven’t felt my husband at all in any part of the house… we were married 45 years …life is so very precious isn’t we don’t realise what we had till it’s gone… crying earlier with my daughter… I said can’t believe your dad’s not here … it’s just heart breaking isn’t it …the last 8 days of David’s life he was on a syringe driver to keep him comfortable.he never opened his eyes and never spoke… couldn’t eat or drink … it’s just aweful to think nothing could be done for him … thank God I had him at home for the last 3 weeks of his life… we live in a cruel world don’t we :pensive:

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So sorry deborah
Your post has just touched me although different circumstances my partner had a syringe driver fitted before he passed away he couldnt eat talk and had his eyes shut i was with him when he passed away its awful isnt it knowing that no more could be done but i was sat by his side still expecting a miracle :sweat:
Take care x