Silent scream

@Loobyloo2

Me too. It’s been nice on this thread that there maybe some relief from this hellish pain .

Don’t want to move on with anyone else and I think Bry would want me with him in some ways as he hated it when I wasn’t t around but at the same time he would want be to do what he knows I did best , caring as I always did . I’m going to try to not think & panic about the bleak future I feel is ahead of me as much & try to show the kids their mum is still here instead of the mess they see at the minute . Will I manage it - probably not , certainly not every day but I’ll try .

This is without a doubt the hardest thing ever, if we/I can survive this , we can survive anything :pray::broken_heart::heart:

Do I still hope my time is sooner rather than later - absolutely but until then , I’ve got to soldier on the best I can ( can’t t believe I writing this today , but I’m not fooled I know in an hour I could me a wreck again )

Sending hugs xxx

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I agree its like a howl - more than i cry - i think its just the pain of it all coming out of your heart :frowning: xxx

@Deb5

It’s one hellish journey for sure. I found myself trying not to think of Bry but that’s impossible. :broken_heart:

One minute I’m saying , it’s life, come on pull yourself together , the next moment i’ m shaking my head in total disbelief that he’s actually, really, really gone & then I’m back to square one :broken_heart::sleepy:

Like why have they taken my man??? ( obviously we are all going through this not only me :sleepy:) but just why??? We were not bad people, why would they ?? I just do not get it !!! :broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart:

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I know i agree ! If you try to suppress it or wish it away , the grief just seems to come back twice as bad ! As i said to somebody earlier on we just have to ride the waves of grief ! As awful as it is :frowning: and i know after ive cried i do feel better ! You know before this happened i never hardly cried ! Now i cant stop , soany things make me cry xx

@Deb5

They say grief is the price you pay for love and it’s so right that’s why we are hurting so much because we found special love .

I for one do not want anyone else & would never want to go through this pain EVER again :broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart: xxxxx

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Is that you in the picture with your bry ? Its a lovely pic and he looks like a kind man with a bit of a cheeky smile like my husband had. My husbands pic is in the photo gallery ! Boy do i miss that cheeky smile and his infectious laugh. My daughter said she misses that too :frowning: she absolutely loved her dad ! (Such a daddys girl) :He had a really good sense of humour ! Xx

@Deb5

It’s is and he was very cheeky . People said if he didn’t insult you , he didn’t like you :see_no_evil:

Its strange as you get on with life before this happened, my neighbour said he adored you Paula & that she used you to see us in a morning leaving for work having a kiss then he would cheekily smack my bum . That was just us & ‘normal’ miss it so much but typing it did make me smile :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

I bet she does, I lost my Dad in 2017 and that wasn’t expected either , I was 47 and thought that was too young , I was such a Daddy’s girl. How old is she if you don’t mind me asking ?

My daughter is 32 & my son 23 , I feel they have a lifetime without their Dad now & it’s unfair and sad for them :sleepy::sleepy:

Xxx

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Sorry i fell asleep … my daughter is 34 … ive got two other kids a son and a daughter but their behaviour has been very off since their father passed away … yeh she said in the funeral car i cant believe ive lost my dad at 34 :frowning: xx she is being braver than me though x

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@Deb5

Mine too . :sleepy::sleepy::sleepy: xxxx

Hi o lost my son 5 months ago and totally get what your saying about a wounded animal this uncontrollable sound that is so foreign to me it’s not a cry it’s just like a wounded animal where you want to curl up in a corner x

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