I lost my dad, my best friend, on 16/9/22
I feel like I’m sinking, at times I feel like I can’t breathe
I’ve tried to go back to work with very little support from anyone there.
I feel lost and unsure how life can go forward


Hi, thanks for sharing your sadness. Life will go forward, it may never become ‘easy’, but you can learn to live with your pain and bring it into equilibrium with your best memories. There is always hope, so try to find a moment of positivity through a happy memory each day.

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someone on here mentioned “hibernation.”

it is not a far off idea.

protect yourself. everyone left me alone at work. I did not talk for a long time, over a month.
I did my work and went home. they respected that. losing my dad was horrible.

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand it.


It feels like they just expect me to go back and everything is normal when I’m a complete wreck and dying inside.
I’ve been to my gp today who has put me on reduced hours which I know will get moaned about. He wanted to sign me off again as he doesn’t feel that I’m ready to go back, and tbh i dont feel ready

Its a pain I can’t explain, a feeling there are no words for!!!

Sorry for the loss of ur dad :heart:

do what the doctor says.
sadly, we now learn to stand up for ourselves. no fun but there it is.

for me, I have written about it on this site, it was like being struck by a 2x4 board and left
on the side of the road. a shell rose to carry on but I was left felled in a ditch. that was how hard it struck me.

this is a time where you put YOU first. none of them is going through the worst time in life.
make no apologies for it.


I understand your words. It’s very recent for you. It has been just over 4 months since I lost my Mum aged 71 and still every day I struggle to find the strength to continue. It is with me virtually every minute of every day. Nothing can bring joy at the moment and I can’t see how things will change as I feel I will never get ‘over’ the deep hurt and sadness. I sometimes struggle to breath.

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Sorry for your loss. I know how you feel.

I agree - this is the time to put You first.
If you feel that you are not ready, don’t.

I understand that sinking feeling all to well and wondered how I could possibly move forward!

My dad passed away in August 2011 just a few weeks before my 50th birthday and my wedding day and just a few months away from their 60th wedding anniversary!

We were trying to support mum after losing dad. She was struggling but was happy to and take on the role of walking me up the Isle. It was an amazing day and I felt that my dad was with us throughout.
However in reality in the background my mum was not only struggling with grief, she had become very confused since lossing dad and was battling against dementia and shortly after, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s!

We could not even tell her that my 31 year old niece had died of cancer because she herself had told us, don’t tell nanny she would not understand!
My mum passed away in Mar 2019.

I totally understand that sinking feeling.

In November 2021 my world fell apart once more, but even more heavily when my husband passed away. Although we had only been married for 10 years we had actually lived together for over 35 and known each other for a lot longer. And, just two days later we lost his brother as well!

After something like that you can’t just carry on like before, because with that loss, your whole changes. That indescribable pain like no other.

I had given up work to care for my husband so I haven’t had to cope with that as well. But, how the hell do they think you can just go back to work, pick up where you left off and everything be the same.
And as someone else said, make no apologies for it.

Baby steps. Take each day as it comes. Do what you can when you can and if you can’t - like I say to myself about household chores sometimes - it’ll still be there tomorrow!

Please take care of yourself xx

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Thank you for taking the time to reply to me.
It seems that you yourself have been through the mill and I send you all my love. You must have had some strength to get through it all.

I feel like I’m in a bubble and living out someone else’s life. My dad was only 68 and had so much to live for. But the 12 year battle had taken its toll on his body.

I have been to speak to my GP who has done me a note for reduced hours and is happy to sign me off again if I need it.

I’m trying to please everyone and had forgotten that the most important person to look after is myself.

Baby steps Joanne, baby steps xxxx

Omg! That was my niece’s name…Joanne x

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