I feel like I’m just sitting waiting to die so I can be with my husband who died in August. I feel like my life ended that awful day in August and I can’t move on I just cry all the time if I see someone and they ask how I am I just burst into tears. I miss his smile and being able to talk to him his things are all around and I can’t bare to throw anything away it feels like I’m getting rid of him. I worry about what I’m going to do and how I’m going to manage without my darling husband. I miss him all the time . This is unbearable pain I sit looking at his photo with a candle by it and cry my eyes out I’m crying writing this. my heart hurts
I’m sorry to hear about your loss, I lost my little sister and my mum last year and then my stepdad passed away earlier this year too.
I know exactly how you feel it’s so painful! The way I get through it is to concentrate on living a good life and try my very best not to be miserable because I know that’s not what they would want for me.
Take it one day at a time don’t rush the grieving process I hope you find comfort soon take care x
I lost my husband too in august and I feel panicky inside and feel like it’s not really happening because how can my whole life have been just swept away, everything is different and like you say what’s the point without our other half, it’s physically painful and unbearable, I’m like a zombie just doing what has to be done and who cares about anything else, sorry for your loss too and that we’re both on the same road of grief hugs to everyone xx
Hello. I just wondered if you were getting any support via bereavement counselling. Cruse are very good. It can help.
I also think it can help to have a change of scene temporarily. Although you may not feel like going anywhere it can really help to have a break from being surrounded by familiarity. Then when you return it is easier. Although it can start to pull you down again so a change of scene fairly regularly can really really help. Is there anyone you can stay with who is happy to let you just quietly be there and do your own thing, without you feeling you have to make an effort or put on a brave face?
I went on a retreat once and that really helped. I had space fo myself and my own room but there were people around so it didn’t feel lonely. It was supportive in that all meals were provided so like being looked after. And everyone staying had meals together. Two meals a day were silent (just music playing) so there was no pressure to make polite conversation. One meal a day was not silent so you could chat a bit with others if you wanted or opt to have a tray in your room instead. By the end of the week I felt like a new person and more positive. The love is still there but the feelings less depressing.
I’m not sure about counselling, I think the pain is something I need to work through myself and don’t think I could open myself up too much otherwise I will burst, where to start even but the retreat sounds lovely, I have commitments through the week and even on the day my husband died I had to carry on to care for my little grandson and he would have told me too as well if he was here but it was hard, I lost my mum in January and I also keep hearing her say work through it you’ll be fine and I know that I will be because life is cruel and it’s true the world keeps turning whatever, I miss my husband so much and going to bed is my sanctuary, my time to remember and cry for my loss and why us ? I thank God for my lovely family and friends who all look out for me and know I am blessed with an incredible lifetime of memories, falling in love and forty one years of marriage, my heart is broken and I’ll never be the same but I keep plodding on a day at a time, thoughts to everyone on the same gruelling road xx
Dear Misprint. I am sorry to hear of your loss. You are 3 months into being bereaved and the loss of your husband is still very very raw. It is perfectly understandable you feel like you are getting rid of your husband if you throw things away but there is no rush to do this. If you want to keep it all then keep it all especially if these items hold precious memories for you.
You will manage by taking 1 day at a time, getting support from family, friends and this community. There is a Bereavement Support Group on Facebook you could join and Cruse Bereavement offer a wonderful support service.
We are always here for you. Take care. xx
I think it can take time before you feel you can have a new different life while not forgetting. It’s like we’re still holding on to them I think. I have actually found my counselling not helping but maybe that’s the particular counsellor. It was good to know there was someone to talk to once a week so I could let it all out as having to carry on for others around me (like you with your grandson) and I am sure it is helping a bit in that sense. It must be harder when you had such happiness. For my Dad, I think he felt he had no-one who loved him at the end - separated from his daughter and his marriage hadn’t been happy. That is why I felt such grief for the end of his life - worrying that he hadn’t felt loved. And wanting that chance to tell him he was.
But the change of scene, even staying with someone for a few days, can help stop going under a bit with familiarity I think - it just breaks the atmosphere for you. I got to the point where I didn’t want to leave the house - facing the real world just hit me hard. But the more you do the more you can feel closer to nature and that can help.