Sleeping or not

It’s been 16 mouth sins I lost Alan my partner me best friend and its still a rolercoster of a ride I take to sleeping with his jacket again though I had moved past this but this new lock down like so meny of us are now by owerselves again and I hate it not that I wasn’t before just that at lest we could go out to brake the emptnes I just can’t think how anyone with a loss now is coping. There doesn’t seme any pont in anythings at the moment this new normal is the warst thing out for people alone and grieving you just end up more alone hopefall it will end soon and we can sit and have a coffee out sarounded by people and remember love to all x

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Hi. Cj13. Oh yes, don’t I know it! One of my little treats was to go for morning coffee to a lovely little café where the girls understood what I was going through and helped me a lot. One of them lost her mum while I was there, so I hope I was able to help. ‘Rollercoaster’ just about sums it up. Up and down! It’s what I call the ‘YO YO effect’. So often memories return when least expected. It will end. Through the years humanity has suffered epidemics and plagues and survived.
That is no consolation to anyone who has suffered loss due to covid. It’s all a hard and cruel business. When you say ‘surrounded by people’ you are so right. That I do miss. It’s not just chatting, but feeling a part of the human race. I feel so isolated and alone at times although I have many friends.
It can never be the same again. After two years I am coping and having some better times, but the pain doesn’t go away altogether doe’s it? I doubt it ever will.
Blessings and Best Wishes. John.

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Hi cj13
You are not alone in this. This second lock down has made it harder. In the first lockdown my husband was with my, now everyday i am here on my own.
It was taking me time and courage to go out as i dread to come to an empty house but it help me to feeling less pain while i was walking arohnd in the park .
Now i am feeling alone, couple friends call sometimes in the day but as the day finishing the harder it gets.
Evenings are hard having dinner alone, only one plate the should be 2 and going to bed cold bed to start then the empty space nobody to hold my hand or schedule thing for next day. Nobody saying good night i am putting the pillows as always and i keep sleeping in my space but i try to govto bed when i am feeling exhausted so i dont have to feel the pain . I dont think there is easier way out of this pain, so anything we can do to release the pain is good.
Best wishes

@DEVI and @Cj13 I feel the same. During the first lockdown, my husband was here. He’s now gone and going to that big empty bed alone is so hard. I have dogs who keep me company, but the house feels so empty without my beloved. I’m sure @jonathan123 knows this feeling. I feel helpless and alone especially at weekends. The thought that keeps me going is that J would want me to find peace and acceptance, he would not want me to be lost forever. Blessings to all. Cxxx

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