Small steps

It’s been 16 months and I still can’t take my husbands clothes out of the wardrobe and pass them on to someone who needs them. I’ve tried a couple of times thinking I was ready but haven’t managed yet. I think I’m scared I may go backwards. Does anyone have any advice please?

Hi Jay-Z
There is no set time scale in grief.
I still have the dress my Mum wore when I got married 2 years ago. It keeps me close to her.
Don’t force yourself. You will do it when you’re ready.
Take care
Dave

Hi Jay i agree with Dave do it when your ready .Im just shy of 18 months into my nightmare and i cant even open the wardrobe door to look at my darling wifes clothes .Nobody needs your husbands clothes .Your more important than putting yourself through more emotional turmoil all the best Colin

Thank you both for your helpful advice and taking the time to reply. Take care.

Hi Jay
So sorry to hear about your sad loss. When my mum passed away I was able to sort through her things a little at a time. A friend of mine cave me some good advice to keep some key items of clothing that were my mums favourite and keep them in a sealed bag which I have done. When we lost our son 5 months ago I am afraid it is a very different story. To date I have not been able to touch a thing, not even a scrap of paper, but I think to myself, why do I need to it at all yet, just getting through each day is tough enough at the moment so why add to the pain. My middle son is slowly adopting some of his big brothers clothes which I really love. Jacob will be pleased to see his little brother wearing his beloved t shirts. Other things will just have to wait, I know I will have to do it one day, I do not think I will ever be able to get rid of most of his things but when I am stronger I will look through his stuff but at the moment I cannot even open a draw in his bedroom without sobbing, so for now it can wait. Only do it when you are ready and not before. there is no correct time, it has to be when you are strong enough.
Janet

Hi Janet.

I’m so sorry to hear about your losses. I cannot imagine how terrible that must be for you. That’s lovely your son wants some of his brothers things. Two out of three of my sons wear some of their Dad’s shirts but it’s a personal thing isn’t it. It’s all about learning to live a different life because the life we had before has changed so much and it’s hard to be brave all the time.

Thinking of you.

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