So called :friends'

This is probably going to sound like a grumpy rant, it probably is but please bear with me.
I’m sure we’ve all been saddened reading about Caroline Flack this past weekend, as I have. It’s a tragedy that one so young took this path in her despair.
Why I’m having a moan is because not only does it make me sad, its seeing the people I once called a friend not only posting the news articles on their Facebook pages but then saying to reach out to your friends, Be Kind. The same so called friends who, when I was nursing my late husband before he died some 14 months ago never bothered to phone, let alone text. The same people that I’d supported over the years and gone out of my way to help through their problems, the ones who couldn’t even offer their condolences when he did pass away
I wish I was brave enough to make a comment to them now, but I’m not and it really isn’t worth it.
I just wish that people would maybe look closer to home and reach out to their friends who are suffering rather than acting like caring, kind people on social media. But sadly that’s what social media is all about, showing what a wonderful life you are supposedly having.
Thank you for reading my ‘rant’, I guess I do still feel more bitter than I realised. Take care everyone. Much love to you all x

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Hello Mos. I’m not a fan of social media either. I don’t do Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. In fact the only chats I take part in are this SR forum and WhatsApp. I hate when stories are splashed all over Facebook, as in births, deaths and marriages. When my sister was very ill in hospital, one of my neices took a photo and put it on FB. My poor sister looked so very ill with tubes everywhere. Why would she show that to the world? I was very cross.

I understand your rant absolutely. It’s easy to display a caring attitude by typing a few words but it’s not so easy to actually get out there with helpful deeds. Those are truly caring people and probably few and far between. They’re my kind of people…xx

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Hi Mos, I must admit I have had similar thoughts to you this past weekend. Tv presenters becoming emotional telling us “our very dear friend and colleague passed away”… really!

If this lady knew how ‘dear’ she was and how many ‘friends’ she had chances are she would still be alive!

Worms and woodwork springs to mind.

Talking it is one thing. Walking it, quite another!

I’ll leave it at that and keep the remainder of my words and thoughts to myself :woman_facepalming:t2:

xx

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I fully agree with all of the above posts. I don’t touch the media because I’m not particularly interested in listening to all the exhibitionist stuff on there. Talk about ‘crocodile tears’. That’s show business.
And that is a real truth. If she had so many friends why was she left alone?
Yeah, ‘talking it is one thing, Walking it quite another’. No one can know the pain of bereavement who has not been there, and likewise no one can know the pain of extreme anxiety, depression and fear that causes someone to take their own life. It’s why it’s so very important to support each other if only by posting and keeping in touch.
I am not making excuses, but so many shy away from bereavement. ‘There but for the Grace of God go I’. It reminds them of their own mortality. If only they knew how much a kind word or just a touch of a hand can help. But, sad to say, we live in a selfish society. We in the West are so self centred. We see so much pain on TV that we have become almost immune to it. But there are still many kind folk about as witness this site. It certainly sorts out the ‘friends’ from the others! I have lost a lot of ‘friends’ but gained more who do understand.
Take care all. Blessings and hugs.

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I completely get you.

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Social media is the scourge of society. This generation are ruled by it. All these young girls with depression and self harming because they didn’t get enough ‘likes’ on their latest selfie. School kids being bullied and beaten and it filmed and posted online. Kids getting groomed by paedophiles. The minute you post something on sm you open yourself up to criticism and trolling. Then we wonder why so many take their own lives. The thousands of Facebook pages full of the ideal life when their reality is so very different. Why the need to share every aspect of your life with the world :roll_eyes: I can’t comprehend it. I want to go out and physically chat to my friends, drink coffee and laugh not sit on a keyboard with some virtual friend who I have never met. Would they stand in a queue and tell the stranger next to them all the information they share on Facebook.
I think the internet is amazing but social media is killing this generation. I will get of my soap box now and have lunch with a real live person :wink:

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Absolutely!!! I hope you enjoyed your lunch with a live person. The word ‘virtual’ appears often in media. Yes, once on there you open yourself up to the world. Young people don’t have the wisdom to know when to stop and can be so upset when they get negative responses. There are people there who get kicks from emotional bullying. At my age I don’t give damn what anyone thinks as long as I am happy with what I have done. But the we seem to have standards that are so lacking in modern society.
But it’s all about ‘big bucks’. There’s billions to be made out of the suffering of others and who cares as long as the dollars/pounds roll in. Sorry if it sounds cynical but to me it’s a truth.
Take care.

I so agree with you all about Social Media. I have nothing to do with it. If someone want’s to say terrible things about me they can have the guts to say it to my face and not hide away. What shocked me was seeing mobile phones clicking away at a road accident. All at the ready to post it online and the poor driver was injured still inside the car. It’s about time it was put a stop to. What right have people got to do this sort of thing. However I do become confused at people looking at the post that cause them distress, surely they can just not bother with them.
I also have no wish for the world and it’s mother to know every aspect of my life and I’m not interested in theirs. I like to choose who I share with.
I wonder how many lives Social Media has ruined.

Pat xxx

Hi Mos can I join in your rant. I couldn’t agree more. My husband was a lovely caring man, always willing to help and always a kind word, yet some of the people he was always there for have never even mentioned his name to me and now do their best to avoid me. I don’t make a comment to these thoughtless people I just make a point of making them speak to me, even to say ‘good morning’. You can see how uncomfortable they are and I get some satisfaction in their discomfort.
One elderly man (97yrs old) that my husband regularly helped wrote me a letter it was a lovely letter and his last lines said “In my life I have met many people but your husband is one I will never forget”. These words meant the world to me, I treasure that letter and it made up for the selfish ones that couldn’t even be bothered to acknowledge him and the help he was always offering.
xx

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I’m a little cross with my Aunty. I was so careful in my mums last days not to frighten her and for her to not know how near the end she was. Kept saying. “We will get you home once this chest infection has cleared ”. My Aunty turns up (her sister in law says). Says “ I’ll look after the kids for you (Me, my brother). don’t worry”. Poor mums eyes were wide with fear and sadness. I wouldn’t mind if it’s true but we have not heard from her since the funeral. Mum would scoff at that!!!

That’s about typical. My husband said I would always be alright with his family and would be able to call on them. I haven’t heard from them since the funeral either and no intention of asking any of them for help now. Brian would be so disappointed though he was always so trusting.
xxx

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I actually do love my Aunty. But the words she said to her just caused fear and in the end wasn’t true. I can see my mums face if I told her

My other two aunts who never uttered a word to my mum like that just cuddled her and comforted her. They Call me every single week and tell me how much they love me. Which is such a comfort and I’m so grateful for them.

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Jooles
I’ve barely heard from my mums family either.
Her brother calls or texts me once a month. Nothing from the others. My mum would be really surprised at this as she was the youngest and my sister and I are the first to lose both our mum and dad.
Some of my cousins have both parents and I do wonder how they will be when they are in my position x

Families are strange aren’t they. I’m really really surprised at one of my best friends who hasn’t contacted me since the funeral. We have been best friends for 35 years. She lost her mum when she was 21. I’m really annoyed. As I was there for her when her mum died. More so than anyone else of our friends

That is sad Jooles you would think out of everyone she would understand the most what you are going through and be supportive. Two of my friends are widow’s so have been where I am now and have been amazing.
Maybe you should ask your friend why she has not been in touch as it is obviously upsetting you and quite rightly so
V x

I can understand why you were very cross, Kate. It is bad enough being so ill, I think it takes away the dignity of the loved one.

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I know I think I will say something as it’s really bothering me. Her sister in law died two years ago. And I messaged her every week to make sure she was ok. We don’t live near each other but I made sure she was ok

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Or I won’t say anything and just post a sarcastic comment on Facebook. :rofl:

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:rofl::rofl: nice one