My husband died nearly 5 months ago and I’m getting more and more depressed, Today I have just sat around all day, crying. I have no motivation to do anything
4 Likes
Bumblebee, sorry for the loss of your husband, you and I about the same time of losing our husband I wish I could give you some hope. I’m exactly the same as you, very depressed and so lonely, can’t get motivated. Remember we’re all on this difficult journey and try to help each other on this site. You’re in my thoughts. Sending you love. X
.
.
2 Likes
Patsy219
It’s reassuring to know you are at the same stage as me. I’m sorry for your loss too Thank you for your reply
1 Like
Hi
I to suffering with depression no motivation. My husband died August 2024 diagnosed with terminal cancel June 2024 such a terrible shock as never expected it. We married 3 years ago . Both had partners before , my first husband died in 2009 killed in an accident when he was driving his lorry, so I was first widowed at 48.
But this grief for Jim is totally different I sat and watched Jim over the 8 weeks and it broke me
I just wander when this sinking feeling will ease ,I have my dog that gives me reason to get up in the mornings.
2 Likes
Hi Beachwalks,
So sorry for your loss. You think you’re going to grow old together
and then suddenly you’re alone. My husband had always been fit and well then in September 24 he suddenly became I’ll with a
blocked bile duct. I thought he would be home soon after the
Surgery but ended up with necrosis of the pancreas and sepsis.
Exactly five weeks after becoming ill he died in intensive care.
It was such a shock that its only really hitting me now.
4 Likes
My husband was always fit and well, except for a cold now and again.
After 24 years in the army he retired in 2022. He went to the doctors with an infection in January and everything went downhill from there.
He was referred to the Urology Department in April, they kept sending him home without doing anything and October we found out it was cancer.
He was told he was too weak for chemo and nothing they could do.
He died 10 days later.
1 Like
Poppet1973
So sorry for your loss. I hear so many accounts of people being
fobbed off by doctors then being diagnosed with cancer too late.
This happened to my sister in law.It makes you feel very angry.My
husband worked for the nhs and retired in 2023. I’m so sad that
he didn’t get a long retirement. We had so many plans and now
everything feels pointless.
2 Likes
When my husband was taken in, he had trouble breathing and a rash on his leg, he went to see our Dr on 28th October to let him know how is appointment went at Leeds hospital we were told it was cancer at the appointment) he sent him to hospital (he never came home) he had blood septicemia and fluid on his lungs. The doctor from urology came to see him, which made my husband angry as they didn’t do anything, he turned round and said to my husband "sorry its the NHS’s fault, you were lost in the system " like he was nobody, he was the one who told him it might be cancer a few months before and still sent him home, all he had to do was a biopsy and my husband might still be here.
If he had a chance with chemo then we could say look we tried and then could accept the outcome, but he did nothing.
I don’t blame the NHS I blame urology for not doing anything for him
2 Likes
Poppet
That is dreadful. I can’t help wondering if my husband had been
taken into to hospital earlier he might have survived. I also blame
myself for not ringing for an ambulance when he was first in pain.
I didn’t think it was serious. He had to sit in A&E for 7 hours before
he was seen by a doctor. He was eventually admitted but never came home again.The NHS is broken and it’s costing lives.
2 Likes
My husband never came home also, he was supposed to go for some tablets as our GP thought he might of had blood clots.
He said he was just a number to them and he was right.
1 Like
It’s heartbreaking. Seeing your loved one suffer is the worst
thing ever. You feel so helpless.
1 Like
My husband was very fit, he developed a bad cough, doctor said he had chest infection, when antibiotics didn’t help he had x-ray., then scan, after that he was told he had lung cancer, which had spread to his lymph noads, liver, and bones. Nothing could be done. “You have a few weeks left” He died exactly one week later.I accept they couldn’t do anything but, the shock was awful. For me the depression is beyond terrible like it is for everyone on this forum.
1 Like
Patsy
So sorry to hear that, it’s such a shock when your partner is taken
so suddenly. My husband illness lasted 5 weeks and we didn’t expect him to die. I had hope till the last day when the doctor in intensive care said they were withdrawing treatment.We were coming to our 39thWedding Anniversary this month. When you have lived with the love of your life so long it’s like your limbs have been removed. I can’t function properly without him.
2 Likes
Hi patsy 219. So sad about your husband . Very much like my husband he was repeatedly treated for chest infections and when none of the antibiotics helped he was taken into hospital on 18th June and diagnosed with terminal cancer on 26th June it was in his liver , lungs and spine I will never forget that day just totally shocked, he remained in hospital and I visited him and sat at his bed side helpless his medication had to be topped up and he was asleep most of the time woke up occasionally, watching him is implanted in my mind and knowing nothing could be done . He lived for 8 weeks after being diagnosed that is so hard to come to terms with. A fit man who enjoyed his DIY and liked to keep busy he was 77 but certainly didn’t look his age ( I am 63). He must have had the cancer a while but the symptoms came to late for treatment but it was to advanced for treatment just can’t get my head round it. Another day on my own but have my dog and that gives me purpose to get up in the mornings.
1 Like
Bumblebee, like you I can’t function without my husband . We were married for a long time, I find doing things pointless, all part of the depression I think. He would be saying to me 'you’ll be fine, just relax '. He was so strong and accepting of the dreadful news, he never complained once but that was what he was like always. X
1 Like
So sorry to hear about your husband Beechwalks, he was the same age as my husband. Like you the shock was so awful, hospital said he could come home but it took time for things to be arranged, hospital bed, oxygen, carers etc., he had seventeen hours at home and passed away peacefully. Like your husband the cancer must have been there for some time. If things could have been moved more quickly he could maybe have been home for maybe a couple of days out of his final week. Sending you love.
2 Likes