So hard to carry on!

Hi all, This is very difficult to write for me but I need to let it out and talk about things. I lost my Mum in October due to a Brain Tumour. I’m in my 40’s and I lived with mum and was just horrible to see my beautiful mum decline! I’m glad mum isn’t suffering anymore but god I’m finding it so hard to carry on without her and i’m just so lost and alone and would do anything to have mum back but that will never happen.

I feel like a little kid again which is just crazy as I am a grown man but I lived with mum and looked after her since she got diagnosed and I’m glad I got the chance! I lost my Dad when I was 14 but losing Mum has absolutely devastated me.

I know we all will lose our Parents one day but when you see a healthy parent get cancer and just decline and pass in the space of 10 months well it just brings a whole new meaning to the words of pain and devastation! I just want my mum!


Dear @MN81

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your mum. I can see that you are new to the Community, I hope you find the community to be of support and comfort to you.

I can see that your loss is very recent. It is understandable that you are feeling the way you are, all of which is normal and part of the grieving process. Grief is a journey to be taken one day at a time, it is not a race and there will be good days and bad days as it is a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Everyone’s bereavement journey is different.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support who has been in a similar situation as yourself. You can connect with members on here by typing in the search bar Loss of Parent. The support is amazing.

In the meantime I would like to share a few resources with you that may be of help and support to you at this time.

A blog by Sue Ryder on Losing a parent - Coping with the death of a parent | Sue Ryder ?

  • self-help platform which has information to help you understand and cope with your bereavement and grief along with resources and advice to help you through your grief called Grief Guide . When you are ready and feel up to it, it would be worth taking a look
  • Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
  • Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
  • Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through .

Thank you for bravely reaching out, it is not always easy to do this, you are not alone, we are all here to support you.

Take care.


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Hi MN81,

I’m very sorry for your loss.

I relate to your post. I lost my dad in November, he passed away 8 weeks after being diagnosed with advanced cancer. I moved back in with my parents when we found out that dad was ill to provide support and care.

My dad was always very fit and active but he deteriorated quickly after being diagnosed. He wasn’t able to do anything that he enjoyed and my mum and I cared for him. I know dad’s cancer wasnt curable but to lose him so quickly is difficult to understand.

I also relate to feeling like a kid again. My dad was the person who understood me and he was always there with support and advice. I miss him terribly and I feel very lost.

There are people here who understand.


Hello @Katherine86 Thank you for your kind words and sorry to hear about your dad. Yes it’s just a devastating time for us and I wish things were different. Why couldn’t it have been me you know.


Hi MN81,

Thanks. It truly is the worst pain and i wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I think if you have cared for a loved one who is terminally ill then it throws up all kinds of questions and regrets too which can complicate things.

I also wished it was me but I know this is not what my dad would have wanted.

Sending best wishes.

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