It’s almost 4 weeks since my dad died and I seemed to be coping with it, well sort of. I guess I’ve kept busy, sorting the funeral, the coroner, looking after my pets.
There’s also been a massive family argument to deal with. My dad left his house to me, I’ve lived with him all my life and was his carer for the last 20 years, anyway my sister is fine with that but my brothers are not, it’s all messy legal stuff but who knows what will happen, there are money issues too
Anyway 4 weeks on and I just suddenly feel so low and utterly alone. I’m sat in a house I don’t know if I’ll be able to stay in or what will happen to me if I can’t, I feel so alone today and … lost. There’s things I should do or could do but I just can’t gather any enthusiasm to do anything or go anywhere
I’m sat thinking about stupid things like Christmas and how it’ll be on my own and why do my brothers hate me so much that they’d see me out on the streets, and if maybe I could’ve saved dad if I hadn’t been at work.
Is this normal ? Saturdays & Wednesdays are so hard as I don’t work those days so just don’t see anyone at all.