So much I want to tell him...

I try my best to keep positive but I keep getting myself so low…There is so much I want to tell Richard, too late now, even though I keep talking to him, praying that he can here me, I just want him to know that a lot of horrible and nasty things I had said to him that i think he heard so many times that he actually did believe them, when now all I want is for Richard to know is that I didn’t mean them really, I am just tormenting myself that he has gone to his grave never knowing this…I wish that we had both opened up more while we had the time together to do so…I can see more clearly now just how much he cared for me…he would have done anything for me…I can honestly say Richard was the most reliable’st person I have ever known, in all the years I have-had known him, he was the most reliable and punctual person that ever came into my life 10 years ago…He was a creature of habit that if he started something he would continue with it for years, his evening mid week bowling team, his twice a week golf with his three-four regular golfing pals…come rain, snow or shine, he still turned up, nothing would stop him…he done these for years when we was back home…Even dog walking our then three fur babies, it never mattered what the weather was like outside, he still without any thought took them for there walks, even though he never like rain…I would usually do the morning walks, Richard would do the late afternoon-evening walk after I had fed them…What I would give to go back to those days, they were the best years of our lives…

Jackie…

19 years ago not 10…

Back to top