So sad

Only Tuesday but I’m finding this week to be such hard going, 8 months to the date since my husband died and today I paid off our mortgage, insurance finally paid out after months of battling. It isn’t at all how we imagined we’d be free of it, we always thought we’d be celebrating, going for a coffee or a meal, looking forward to what lays ahead, retirement and new adventures, and instead here I am at 49 wishing I could give all that money back, start our mortgage from the beginning again with him by my side.
Yesterday I went back to work as well, ironing my uniform and not his, leaving the house on my own, walking to the station without him chatting away, every step was agony, I just feel so incredibly sad, lost and lonely.

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Sending so much support to you, I am in the same situation, 7 months since my husband died and I am same age as you and life just feels so unfair and cruel. I am trying to put our lives back together, going to work and supporting my kids through losing their Dad, when inside you just feel like giving up. It is all so exhausting, hoping it will help here to see we’re not alone, take care of yourself x

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Thank you Gee, I’m so sorry for your loss, it’s so hard but I’m so grateful for my kids, else I dot think I’d get out of bed each day. You’re right it’s so exhausting just going through the motions. Take care x

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It’s been two years now since I lost Jim but sometimes I just want to cry but can’t let go I wish I could always been the strong one take care everyone.

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Oh @Lilyboost - I am so sorry- this is hard. I know this feeling- getting administration sorted out just means further proof the one we loved is truly gone. Truly lost to us. Going back to work is tough, too. I hate going to the station now. When I got home before, T would always pick me up. Now, the lines of cars waiting do not include his. Instead, I plod up the hill, missing him, heading for the silence at home. This is all so sad, so bewildering, so lonely. I am 55 - so screeching towards 60, alone. I hope to feel happy again. I did yesterday- but know this is transient. Nearly the Easter break. Let’s try again today, let’s take another step and know our family here on Sue Ryder understands x

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