Hi this is my first post and hope it might help any others in the same place , my beautiful wife took her own life 2 weeks ago , I had to cut her down from the shed where she did it , the funeral is next Thursday and I am breaking my heart as I am writing this , I am 57 and we were married only 5 years but 4 years ago her only son decided to not speak to her or have anything to do with his mum this led to a decline in her mental health then the lockdown then she lost her job etc and it just goes on , she had a endless love 
for me but I could not fill the uncocoditional love the left a massive hole in her heart for her son and grandchildren that she was not allowed to see , for years I tried with every beat of my heart to help fill and ease her pain and suffering but I could not do it , Clare kept saying I just nneed to see my son I just want to see my son and I felt helpless because he didn’t want to , my son from my first marriage called her mum and we used to see my grandchildren but it still didn’t fill her void in her life , all as Clare ever wanted was to be a mum and a nan , if he didn’t like me he still could of seen or spoke to his mum that’s all I wanted for Clare , I loved her so much and she was my world and now she has gone and all of that would of taken to change her world was a simple text from her son but it was not meant to be , I love her and hope to the good lord that she is sitting up in heaven with her Nan and her baby granddaughter Brooke who died when she was only 2 weeks old and hope and pray that she is at total peace and out of suffering, I don’t know how I am going to carry on living but as long as Clare is at peace that is all I can take at the moment love you Clare your ever loving husband steve sleep well beautiful xxxxxxxx
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Steve
I’m so sorry for your loss and under such dreadful circumstances. Life can be so cruel.
The sad reality of your situation is nothing can undo the sad outcome.
I hope everyone finds peace in their hearts eventually but unfortunately the journey will be long and painful.
Thinking of you at this awful time
Thank you so much for your comments they mean so much it is so hard and there is massive hole in my heart love and peace to you and everyone you know steve