So sudden, still trying to accept it.

My husband had two small polyps removed from his bowel and following the op, he continued to have the pain that he was complaining of when he first went to his doctor (through BUPA). He kept going beck and telling the doctor that the pain was still there and getting worse and over a period of more than a year he was treated with various painkillers for trapped wind until one day he woke up and was in such pain he had to be taken to hospital. The NHS diagnosed him within 10 days and he was told that he had three months to live because he was suffering from stomach and liver cancer and that both organs had become infected. He was gone within 8 weeks! I really can’t believe it and I now live alone. I am 70 next year and most of my family is dead. I have two daughters but one lives abroad and the other lives in Liverpool and has her own, serious problems going on, with mental rather than physical health problems. We are all devastated. I am having trouble getting through the day.

Hi Maggie

Welcome to the community, I’m so very very sorry for the loss of your husband in such a tragic and awful way, it must have been torturous for the both of you, it’s bad enough losing someone without having to go through all of that.

I lost my wife 20 months ago, she went into hospital in September and never came home again, she died in December 9 days before Christmas and we were unable to see her for the 7 weeks she was in the hospital, or communicate with her for the last 5 weeks. I’m 74 all my birth family have gone luckily I have a son and daughter and 3 grandchildren and they all live locally. After the death and up to the funeral I was completely numb and don’t know how we managed to sort everything out. After the funeral, I just hated being home and started going out most days for very long walks, hard part was coming back to an empty house.

Take care, thinking of you in your loss, Barry xx


@jubilee I cannot imagine how awful that experience was for you and your dear hudband. My thoughts are with you. This group has been a life line for me and for so many others going through bereavement. Take care. x

Thank you for your kind words. Coming back to an empty house is the worst of it, I agree. I do have a small dog and take him out twice a day but he’s only little. We do go on long walks sometimes, but he doesn’t need 10 mile hikes. Nevertheless, he gets me up in the morning (for his breakfast) and he is company. I hope you are getting lots of comfort from your son, daughter and grandchildren.

Thanks again,


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@Heartbroken2022 Thank you for your kind words. It is good to hear from people who know how you feel because they are going through the same grief.xx

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@jubilee I think most members will agree that unless you have experienced a loss then you cannot begin to understand what we are all going through. Every day is a struggle for us all. An emotional rollercoaster is the only way to describe it. Loneliness is an awful thing when you are going through this nightmare but we are all here to support each other. Take care. xx

So sorry for your loss Jubilee, it must have been awful seeing your husband in constant pain.
I have found the text service that Sue Ryder offers an absolute lifeline. We just have take things day by day, or even hour by hour