So tired

Since my mums funeral last week all I want to do is stop in bed and sleep is this normal ??

Hi Kel,

I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your mum. Yes, what you describe is normal - one of the things that people often don’t realise about grief is that it can have physical effects as well as emotional ones. You have been through a lot, and you are likely feeling drained, both physically and emotionally.

Go easy on yourself and don’t try to do too much. Trying to make sure you eat regularly and get some gentle exercise, such as going for a walk, might help with your energy levels if you can manage it. You can read how some of our other users coped with the physical impact of grief in this conversation: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/physical-symptoms-grief

You might also be interested to read and reply to some posts from other users who have lost their mum recently, such as these ones:

https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/my-mum-0

https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/lost-without-my-mum

If there is anything I can help with, or you have any questions about the site, just let me know.

Priscilla
Community Manager

I agree it’s normal . My 17 year son died in august 2015 and since then I’ve felt tired a lot of the time . I have to really make myself do things , not always successfully but I think it’s important to try. Otherwise you just sit or lay there thinking about stuff that makes you more and more depressed .

I would say it is since my partner died 9 weeks ago that’s all, I have done I never go out either only been out 3 times in 9 weeks
I just don’t feel like my life is worth living at the moment

Dear LinseyMark.
I was just reading what you said about being tired. My son was killed in accident on the 4 May and apart from the overwhelming grief, it took me by surprise how physical grief can be. In the first few weeks I would wake up and feel physically sick. that is now stopped but I get very tired, sometimes just from talking to me and even ache all over like I am coming down with flu. The tiredness is very common to grief. I read something on the compassionate friends website that said you should view every little step as an achievement. Things like getting out of bed, cooking, going to the shop, things that others do without thinking take a lot of effort for someone in grief.
I have to force myself to do things. Sitting in my house would be easy and to be honest there are some days when that is all I can manage but I think it is important to be kind to yourself and not to expect to much of yourself in the early days. After I lost my son I decided that if someone asked me to do something [like go out] and I did not want to do it, then I just wouldn’t.
Take care
Janet

Hi

Yes the overwhelming tiredness which has continued a year after my Mum passed away. Not helped by not being able to sleep very well. I also suffered from shock for some time after and was cold all through the summer needing thick clothes and a hot water bottle in bed.

I do agree with trying to go out for a walk, even to the post box and back and try eating something small. Soup I found was very comforting and easy to eat.

Make time for yourself and don’t do anything you don’t want to was the best advice I was given. I still do both!

Mel

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