Some thoughts on losing my wife

Does anyone else feel like they are now ,after the death of our spouses, feel like they are now living in some kind of alien world ? my house, once a home, is just a cold miserable place once warm and full of feminine comfort but full of reminders of what used to be. Even most of the long term friends have turned into unfeeling zombies totally unaware of what we’re going through, I keep thinking, my god, when this happens to one of you, you will understand but it will be too late to give me the support I need.
I will continue to try to understand this world I have been thrust into, but surely there has to be a limit to how much we can stand.


I lost my husband 2 days ago. I still can’t believe it really happened. I really don’t like being in our flat anymore and I’ve already started boxing up some of his things because it upsets me so much to see them. Although I also feel guilty doing this at the same time. Being around people makes me feel incredibly strange and lonely. My biggest fear is that this persistent sadness I feel will never go away. But good to know someone else also finds everything so alien too!


I really feel this… I walk into our home now and it’s so cold and unwelcoming/Empty…
I never visioned at just approaching 35 I would be a widow. Losing my soulmate of 20 years, my best friend… the person I laughed with everyday, hugged and kissed me every night… it’s been 9 weeks and I just miss him so so much :broken_heart:


@zohadu I’m so sorry for your loss of your partner!! I lost my husband 9 weeks ago… I remember coming home from the hospice the day he died and a few days later I was manic and started folding his clothes away and then broke down and thought “what am I doing?” There is no right or wrong, I think we feel guilt no matter what we do? We will never forget this amazing person we shared our lives with, but if there’s things you feel you have to do at the time, that’s ok? Well at least I think it is…
here if you ever want to talk x


put them all back why rush to remove things you will learn to love them i did the smell the memories they are all there for you to cherish

Hi @bootsie,

I suspect that the feelings you describe are sadly only too familiar to many on this forum. Certainly they are to me.

As for limits to the depths of grief? Personally I have not found the limit yet. Far from it, I continue to be stunned as to how it permeates every aspect of living now. And the capacity to endure the grief? Well from reading the various postings on this forum it is clear to me that the capacity is immense. There are many here of whom I am in awe of their inner strength, their will to somehow keep going. I fancy that this strength, this will arises from the same source that enabled us to love our partners as much as we did in the first place.

Best wishes.

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