Son not coping

It’s nearly five months since I lost my husband and I feel like it was yesterday the pain is so hard to bear, I have three wonderful grown up children one son who is still at home and a son and daughter married with children, my married daughter I see a lot and she has been my rock always there for me and always popping in, and I don’t think I would cope half as much as I do if I didn’t have my son home here with me as it gives me a reason to cook if it was just me I wouldn’t bother and he’s here for me too,
It’s my oldest married son I’m worried about he hadn’t been round a lot recently , it turns out he finds it difficult coming round and seeing his dads things just how he left them like his glasses and kindle by his chair and such like, but I just can’t move them yet it’s to soon, so he don’t come round I don’t see my granddaughters I’m finding it hard going out at the moment so we are stale mate, maybe after Xmas I might cope better , just feeling so very sad and cry every day life is s**t at the moment
Linda

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Linda
Finding it hard to see his dads things is not a reason to avoid coming to see you. 5 months on from losing my mum and everything is so hard. I have her living room and bedroom to face every day and everywhere I look there are reminders of her. But I still have to live here. If you arent ready to move your husbands things then you have to do what’s right for you.
It’s still early days and I’m sure he will get there in time. In the meantime are you able to keep in regular contact with him and your grandchildren over the phone?
Cheryl x

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Dear Linda,
I am with you, Stan had a little corner in our dining area, where he kept his odds and ends, I cannot bear to disturb it, so I leave it as he left it. x

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hi Linda.
id be the same if I was lucky enough to of still been in the home me and Jayne shared for 20 years.until I knew I had get out of the house.id left Jaynes things as was.luckily I got the bed and the wicker shelf unit and put that in the bedroom and put all the cuddlies I got Jayne over the years and put them on the sheves,the bedroom is like Jaynes everything is girly with a few pictures on the bedroom wall and on the side cabinet.ive done this for me to make me feel like Jayne is with me.you have got to do what is best for yo and what makes you feel ok.sorry your son is not coping,wish he would realise that you have lost your husband and would love his company and your granddaughters and hope he does whats best for you.
regards ian

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Yes do it when you are ready. You will know when. My mum passed 6 months ago and she lived with me. We’ve decorated her bedroom but I cant sort her clothes yet I csnt face it still. Her drawers of clothes and bits and Bob’s are just as she left them. I even feel guilty going in her handbag so that’s still in her wardrobe. Theres no rush for you to move your husbands bits. Your son will come round, we all grieve in such different ways xx

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