Sorry, but...

…I really don’t like this new format!
I feel awful saying this because I am sure many people have worked incredibly hard but it seems to me that the human element has somehow been eradicated and the site now feels clinical and soul-less…I hope it works for those who unfortunately come to it in the future but, for me, it is not a patch on how it used to be. X


Hi. AG. I’m so sorry you feel that way. It seems many do. We get so used to something then, if it changes, we get a bit put out. I have found that the more I use the site the better it gets. I find so many of the new features helpful. I do hope you won’t leave too.

Dear Jonathan
What a special person you are!
No I won’t leave…there are too many “friends” here…but I no longer feel “at home” like I used to!
I am sure you are right but I am not social-media-savvy and think I am too old now to appreciate progress!
Take care…and thank you …I know this is not a good time for you and the fact that you still reach out speaks volumes.
Love and Blessings x

Hi, As you know I have had problems and not entirely happy. I just plod along keeping it simple. I don’t touch all the new features as I can’t see the point in having them for what we want to do. So far so good this week although I very nearly backed out of the forum last week when nothing seemed to be going right. Next day was better though. Like you I don’t want to leave my ‘friends’ and our chat’s so am persevering. We can struggle on together. I used to be very experienced with computers but have got left behind over the last year or two and not really bothered about learning all over again.
Pat xxx

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Am wondering, why are there wee coloured dots beside posts sometimes. Does that mean someone’s online? Or Reading it? Am lost, lol.

I agree with you entirely

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Hello All. The site for me, became my 2nd home through my initial loss and in recent traumatic times. For me, it’s not so much that it doesnt look the same but more than it doesn’t “feel” the same. It feels too generic, too impersonal. I do find it hard to use though as I’m a mobile user and there is text jumping all over the place. I can hardly see the grey print and everything is so tiny. I don’t know that it’s an “accessible for all” site anymore, especially when in the depths of early grief.
Saying that though, it’s a bit like our previous lives, we had a collosal change and we had no choice but to endeavour to absorb the new change so if we can manage that (with greatest difficulty), then a new layout of a website should be a walk in the park (in theory.) I do feel guilty saying I don’t feel at home as much here now as where else really offers the same support for free. It’s still a wonderful provision - maybe I just need new glasses. New users won’t know the difference and will see it as we did when we first joined. As a great source of support. I’m coming up to more significant loss and I don’t know yet if I’ll use the site but I’ll be eternally grateful that I found this site in the early weeks, months etc. I don’t know where I’d have been without it. Sending warm regards to everyone.

H Theresa. I think the coloured dots are colours representing the different colours in the various categories. Each catergorie has a colour. Ignore them They don’t make any difference to you posting. Best wishes.

Hi all
When you are in the throes of grief which to all of us represents a moment frozen in time the last thing anyone wants is change. It is a software/technical change but the feeling does change because I think those of us that have been on here a while feel left behind as new people join and our grief feels further and further behind us. It’s the continuing cycle of life and evolution but grief for the individual experiencing it means time stands still when we experience loss and change and represents more letting go of what we long to remain and hold on to. Amelia’s Gran, I get it and understand it. The hardest part of dealing with grief is a longing for it to go away but deep down a desperate feeling of holding on to it for dear life. Grief is the expression of losing a loved one and whilst we all share the same common theme of how to cope and deal with it the one thing that is harder to grasp is how we hold on to it with all our might because we never want to let go of it and this I believe is the way forward, hold on and never let go, embrace it, let it be your guidance your comfort and a constant reminder of the one thing nobody or any change can take away and that is to treasure and embrace the blessings our loved one’s left us with…“nothing on this Earth can separate the love between the living and departed” nothing can rewrite that bond and no amount of change in this world can diminish that love x

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I think that for people grieving a loss that is not recent they can contribute with their experiences of grief to the newly bereaved and want to help them through it as they know what it feels like and have the empathy and experience to totally relate to the early days of grief but on the other hand seek a continuity of their own journey of grief further down the line and the connection of those that have travelled the same timeline. It is that connection that we all seek but we are all on different timelines and any change interrupts that connection and as humans we all seek familiarity and continuity. It is our anchor and validity to our journey in life. Grief whether 1 week or 20 years has no difference in terms of love and feelings and requires the same validation. To old and new my love and wishes for you all remains consistent. Love Lyn x


Thank you for a beautiful and understanding post Lyn T.
I was daunted at first, but I think I am getting more comfortable with the new site as I use it.
I concur with Tina, however, it just does not “feel” the same.
Hoping we do not lose any one as a result.
Xxx Sister2

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Hi Lyn, a lovely and very true post. Thankyou. I like your words and they do help. I hope that in some small way I too will be able to offer help to the newly bereaved. Those of us that have walked that path might well be able to guide someone else along it.
God bless
Pat xxx

I totally agree, and I’m pretty IT savvy. The format of the previous site had a more ‘welcoming’ feel and had a certain flow. There was the need to add new features such as emojis and editing and I was happy to help with testing.
But we got no insight to how the new forum would actually look, would have been good to get our thoughts.
I cannot see me being active now. I had continued to touch base with the forum, even though my posts had really ended. I do hope the new format can be as successful as the previous version and give you all the support you need and in turn for you to give to others :blue_heart:

Hi I hope this doesn’t mean you are going to leave us. This would be a great pity as you have so much to offer.
I used to be on top of IT work having worked with computers but after a few years just plodding along and my husband preferring to do all the computer work although I originally taught him how to use one, I have got a bit left behind. I’m managing with this new site but still not confident with private messages as they seem to have a habit of floating and I am still finding ones that have been sent to me. It all seems a bit hit and miss now and I’m afraid can’t see the point, can’t even work out what some of the icons mean, shows how left behind I’ve become. I also have to log in regularly and don’t want to rock the boat so just keep going as I have done. I cope, so leave well alone is what I am doing.

That is truly a lovely post and one that we all identify with.We are all on the same long and lonely road.Some people have friends and family for support but they also have their lives to get on with and at the end of the day we are on our own.This group is a lifeline to all of us and I bless the day I found it.Thank you​:bouquet::bouquet::bouquet:

I am truly grateful, blessed and honoured to have shared this journey with some lovely and inspiring people and I hope I have given back as much as I have received.
Grief is a place in life that we never wanted to be in and I’m glad that we all felt the need to reach out and unite together to make this journey feel less lonely and so much more bearable. It is a heartbreak and pain that until you have experienced it can never be understood but together we make this dark place one of hope, love and compassion and one where we can shine a light on a world we live in without our departed loved one’s knowing that their light through us, will continue to burn brightly for eternity. The saying to walk in someone else’s shoes is never truer than walking with those who have experienced bereavement. It is sad, raw, tragic, emotional but most of all humbling. There is nothing more certain in life than death and it teaches is all how very fragile life is xx

My goodness Lyn, what a lovely message. So true! I echo every word.
It’s such a pity when someone leaves the site with so much experience of grief. We are here not just for ourselves, though that is very important, but to help those who find it all too much. Especially those who have just arrived. Words are still only words, but they can take the edge off the pain when we find we are not alone.
Thanks. Blessings.

I truly hope that you are not thinking of leaving the forum as your wisdom is needed to help those that need to be helped with their grief. You have a true understanding of what grief means and I am sure can offer love and compassion to those who are starting out on this journey.
Pat xxx

Hi Pat
Ah bless you and thanks … No I am not going to leave the site as I truly hope if I can help someone else going through this heartbreaking journey then I will. This is one of the toughest journeys any of us will encounter and knowing we are not alone is such a huge comfort. I found my way here for the same reason we all did. We are all fellow travellers walking the same path that grief has thrown us on and I believe we all seek the comfort of familiarity in a darkness that we all long to find the light again.
Love Lyn

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Hi Jonathan
Thank you and I still intend on sharing the love and experience of going through this passage of time. I came here 2 years ago feeling very alone, scared and truly heartbroken and not able to function. Many people on here helped me so much and I only hope I can give back

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