Sorting my husband's shirts for charity

I received a charity request asking for clothes collecting for Breast Cancer research. I had still his washed (not ironed) work shirts upstairs and decided to put them in the provided plastic bag. I was crying and hugging his shirts and feeling guilty to give his things away but after I put them in the bag I went to sit for a moment in the living room and my tears stopped immediately and also the shaking stopped. It was replaced by sadness but also a kind of acceptance and I am still stunned by my own reaction. Is it a good sign? Three months and 15 days he left me.

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I couldn’t face sending my Keef’s clothes to a charity shop as I was terrified I might see someone walking around with them on, so I threw them out with the rubbish! I have kept a couple of things which remind me of him and how he was which I’ll put away when I get around to making some kind of memory box. I’d also bought him an expensive fleece and rain jacket last August for our last holiday on the Scottish Isles but, because it was still hot and sunny he never really wore them so I’m going to give them to a friend who would appreciate them. Going through things has been really hard but out daughter has helped a great deal. I still cry every day, especially when I come across something of his. I must admit that I’ve felt worse lately so I came to the conclusion that my head is now accepting that he’s never coming back. I’m roughly on the same timescale as you as Keef left me on 11th February this year.

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Hi @Annaessex . Yes its a good sign. Acceptance is a major step. You can only deal with the reality when you find it. Well done,!!

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It is not a local charity shop. It is one of these charities that put bags through the letter box. Otherwise, I could not do it. I only give the shirts away because I washed them the very day he died and I just could not face them anymore. The local priest is also collecting clothes for the Ukraine but I could not get in contact with him.

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Hi
You were ready to deal with it - well done
It’s always what’s best for you there is no and right and wrong time
I have just thrown away my husband work bag after 5 years !
I gave away most of his clothes and shoes just after he died to charity
But his work bag was where he left it just before he died
I still have his toothbrush in the bathroom I cannot get rid of that
I know I’m silly to keep it

Don’t be pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do
Grief is funny it can hit you out of the blue and put you in a dark place

I am happy that you feel good and strong enough to sort out his clothes and knowing that you are helping someone else is a nice thought
I wish you all the best for the future
Take care
Xx

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Thank you for your kind words. I also have his toothbrush upstairs and his dentures. I could not touch them (my husband died in February this year) and in the living room is still his cardigan and scarf he wore the day he died. I cannot wash them because the clothes still smell like him. Maybe I will even put them in plastic to preserve them? It is not silly to keep certain things to comfort us. There are no laws or procedures, or time schedules while grieving. It is a slow and painful process. Sending love and hugs.

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