Sorting out

Struggling today…. I started to sort out my partner’s clothes, didn’t bank on his smell still on his shirts that he had put away without getting washed…… was a lovely comfortable feeling having him close to me again…. Everything has come flooding back, tears are once again streaming down my face…… I miss him so much, I wish this empty feeling would just go… x


I still put my head in my husbands clothes and try to smell him . It’s over two and half years since he died , but I can’t bare to part with his clothes . I remember years ago ,when I worked on home care. I had started to go to a lady who’s husband had just died . After going for a few months she asked me to help her clear her husbands wardrobe. Easy I thought . !!! Both of us ended in tears . I didn’t even know the man . I told my husband that night about it and how emotional I had been , I felt really silly . But he just hugged me and told me that’s why he loved me . I miss those hugs so much , I miss him so much and our happy life . Xtake carex


Any clothes that hadn’t been washed and still had her scent on, I sealed in plastic sealable bags to preserve it


I never thought of doing anything like that . I have all his aftershave and spray my bed with it . I also have a bag of his old stuff ,what he used for doing his woodwork hobby . It’s full of wood shavings and I can still smell the wood on them. What takes me back to me nagging him about the mess he would make when he came in the house , he would just smile at me and kiss me . He really knew how to get round me . X


i got rid of all my husbands things the day after he died. mainly out of anger at him, cause if he had gone to dr just a few days earlier over an infection that hadnt cleared up he would still be here. the only thing i have of his left is his computer and his dog ornaments. i dont think keeping things with their smell on them helps in any way with getting over their death.

1 Like

I’m so sorry you felt that way after your husband died. Grieving is hard enough without the feeling of anger towards your husband . I find still having his clothes a comfort to me , we are all unique in how we deal with our partners death . I have learned to adapt and accept my husbands death. But I don’t think I will ever get over his death . Xtake carex


I feel your anxiety. My soul mate died 12 weeks ago. Its only now its hit me. Overwhelmed, panic attacks, sooo many tears. I haven’t been upstairs since as can’t face his belongings. Think he’ll walk through the door knowing he won’t. My future uncertain and not sure i want one. Hibernating now xx


It’s hard, isn’t it? I’ve managed to pack up the clothes he hardly ever wore, and have put them away; some day they will go to a charity shop. But I still have his jacket hanging by the door, his sweaters in the drawer. There’s no timeline for this, just do it when you feel ready.