Spent night and day in tears

Just can’t stop breaking down. 2 days after funeral and I’m breaking down constantly. I can’t even go out. I keep posting on here as and contact I had has ended and isolation hits ontop of the loss of my 53 year old wife. 3 days apart is the most separation in 23 years. I keep being told she is still with me but the physical is missing. Her pillow is the nearest to physical.

1 Like

I know just how you feel
The pain is getting worse every day
I miss him so badly , I’m frightened I’ll forget his voice
I’m not crying much but I feel absolutely lost and literally like I don’t want to be here anymore
I feel that no one can understand how bad I feel and I resent people being happy when I am so miserable.
That sounds awful but I can’t help it
I’m so so alone

That is what I constantly feel. I lost her about now 3 weeks ago. This time of day on a Thursday I relive that moment 9pm. Still hurts every week.

And the weekends I hate the weekends
The pain is so much worse
We would go to the market or sit in a cafe or do the garden
Can’t bear being alone x

It’s having those constant reminders that your loved one is not here. I went to local garden centre yesterday and had to leave as it’s somewhere we went on Sundays for coffee and time together. Or just going up the road and seeing couples. Even making cup of tea.
It is hard and I find even harder that you can’t change anything.

That’s a tough story. 53 is too young. Really sorry and you have my condolences and best wishes. I’m here because my parents died, and I’m not going to pretend that’s anywhere near in terms of grief.

All I can say - and it’s too early to say this - is a close friend of mine lost his wife eleven years ago to cancer. She was only 42. The funeral was pretty horrible as her parents were still around, but they were very grateful we’d come as was my friend. Anyway after a few beers, my friend was having a bit of a rant which was entirely understandable. He didn’t know what his future held. He thought no one else would ever want him.

Today that friend is doing well. He went through an unimaginable experience but got through it. He hasn’t forgotten his wife and never will, but he’s now OK, more than OK.

His story’s a bit too early for you, but your wife would want you to be happier one day, and I’m sure you will. I wish you all the best and very sincere condolences again.

My husband had Thyroid cancer. It had affected his voice causing it to become hoarse. When the surgeon took it out he had to cut a nerve on one of his vocal cords which made the hoarseness much worse. I can’t remember his pre-cancer or post surgery voice. I tried to get the voicemail message off his work mobile but his company had cancelled the contract. I feel guilty that I can’t hear his voice in my head. I WANT to hear his voice so badly.

1 Like