I’m 56 and lost my wife 3 years ago to lung cancer after we had been together for 36 years since we were teenagers. We built our whole world around each other, so losing her has left a huge gap in my life that I don’t think I’ve fully dealt with properly.I’ve realised recently that I spend a lot of time alone and overthinking things, and I think I’ve probably been carrying a lot of unresolved grief and loneliness without really admitting it to myself. I’m not always great socially and I sometimes feel like I don’t quite fit into the world, but I’m hoping joining this forum might help me connect with people who understand what grief and rebuilding life feels like.I enjoy simple things, walking, humour and honest conversations. I’m trying to slowly find peace and work out who I am in this new stage of life.
Hello, I’m sorry for your loss, but it’s good that you’ve realised that it would do you good to get out a little more, I’m sure that what your wife would want for you.
It’s not easy but baby steps I think works, you could look at the notice board in your local library or supermarket for any clubs that might interest you or volunteer opportunities, I found taking myself out to lunch in a cafe was daunting at first but now it’s fine.
Maybe join a local gym or go swimming, take your time you may find something doesn’t suit & feel down about it but take a deep breath & try something else, there are “men’s sheds” around, they look interesting, wish I was a man to join ! You could look to see if there’s a local one?
Hello mate sorry to hear about our wife my passed away over a year ago with lung cancer I feel the same way I’m lonely to I have just started again don’t know where to start I have started here best of luck mate
Hello Newchapter56. So sorry for the loss of your wife, im 57, was married to my beautiful husband for 35 years. I lost him this March . What has helped me is this site, because you can just let go of your pain,anger, disbelief and sadness and people here understand what we are going through, . What ever you want to share, maybe a grocery store outing that didn’t quite go well, I cried the first few times I went to the store. My point is we’re here to listen and hopefully give you some advice. There’s a lot of caring, knowledgeable people here, may God bless you
Thank you everyone for the kind replies and suggestions. I honestly didn’t expect such a warm response. Reading your messages has already made me feel a little less alone tonight.
I’m sorry that so many of us are here because of loss, but it does help talking to people who truly understand what it feels like.
This forum is a real blessing and everyone considers to do what works the best. It’s very active, kind and amazing place to be… My most beloved husband died last year and every time when I feel that nobody really understands, I come here and it’s a huge comfort to me…
Janka
I think we come from that age group that like good conversation and diffinately the humour! Probably alot of it non PC now with the likes of The Fast Show coming to mind.
Back in the day friends would just hang around each others houses. Discussing music and latest movie’s etc! Now it’s meeting for a flipping coffee!
And then as years went on it become mainly just us, happy to not see people but welcome if they visited, sometimes not and we’d hide! Just a simple life, content in our little world, with our dogs.
Now it seems such hard work to meet up with people. Can’t be just casual. Jesus too hard work at times all the planning, getting dates in place and then when date arrives I may feel low and it is a gruelling experience rather than something to actually enjoy and I am left feeling the lost more by having to do it!
When you have the company you want on tap and then the person you want to spend time with is no longer there, the loss is huge! Noone can compete with that company, sometimes they are plain annoying and can’t wait for them to go but the alternative is being left completely on your own!
I have recently watched The Komisky Method series. So well done. Not for the very delicate as really touches on loss and cancer but really well written. But it does actually add a bit of humour to this hell on earth
It is making me recall how silly we were when Pete was dying! He’d pull a face, could hardly talk at the time, I’d be crying laughing with the nursing team giving me evil looks as I’d say it’s him he’s making me laugh which looked unbelieveable, looking feeble, bloody sod
And joking at how fat he’d got on steriods. We were like ‘The fat detectives’ trying to move around our small bathroom!
Doing buzz light year when I’d leave the room. Arm stretched out saying ‘Love you to infinity and beyond!’
Hi @NewChapter56 . I noticed you chose a very suitable name, because a new chapter is what it is. A couple of friends used this phrase in my earliest darkest days. I realised my life was a series of chapters, and being on my own was the next (hopefully not the final chapter, not an epilogue). So I decided to write the plot of it, and make it what I wanted, rather than leave it to fate. I wrote down the key aspects, such as where to live, finances, relationships, hobbies, pets. I didn’t get it right first time, and I modified it as I went along. It guided me very well
I find writing things down in a journal helps a lot ,and as you say writing things down that you want to happen in your life is a good way to accomplish things . It’s hard to manifest the life that you desire though when really all you want is your old life back .
I want my old life back… I wake up from bad and heavy dreams each and every morning and anxiety is squeezing my chest when I open my eyes, so if I can go through this, then I can survive another day. It’s my day off today and probably tomorrow too and looking through my bedroom window it’s going to be a lovely, sunny and hot day that I want to spend in my lovely garden with birds and my plushies. Every time when I get up, I turn on the lighting picture of my most beloved husband sitting on my kitchen window and talk to him all the time. It’s not just a picture, it’s his soul in it, I even can see his eyes glistening. I do believe that he is always with me…
Janka
Hello Janka, sorry you are feeling sad, missing your husband, I also want my old life back., with my husband, . I think I wake up to a nightmare , i miss my beautiful husband so much, I so desperately want to see him and talk to him, just have him hold me. But that’ll never happen. Take care enjoy your garden, God bless you
for 35 years. I lost him this March 
. What has helped me is this site, because you can just let go of your pain,anger, disbelief and sadness and people here understand what we are going through, . What ever you want to share, maybe a grocery store outing that didn’t quite go well, I cried the first few times I went to the store. My point is we’re here to listen and hopefully give you some advice. There’s a lot of caring, knowledgeable people here, may God bless you 
, i miss my beautiful husband so much, I so desperately want to see him and talk to him, just have him hold me. But that’ll never happen. Take care enjoy your garden, God bless you 
to her.