Starting a new hobby.

After my wonderful husband of 47 years died nearly seven years ago (we were together 50 years), I could not concentrate on anything. To be honest, I still can’t, I watch a film, then turn it off to do something else, then go back to it. This is what it has been like ever since jumping from one thing to another. I can’t sit in the garden as I find it lonely and boring as I cannot read outside because my eyes are not good enough to read the small print in the books due to an illness I have, and I cannot use my Kindle because the bright lights dim the screen, I just cannot sit in the garden doing nothing as there is now nothing to do in the garden until Autumn as all my plants are perennial and look after themselves so I decided to go back to what I used to do so many years ago, knit. I knitted jumpers for our small sons, cardigans for myself and loved it but when I started working during the week when the boys were teenagers, I didn’t have the time anymore so I gave the needles and wool to a charity.

This week I have ordered Aran wool in double knit and chunky, the appropriate needles, patterns and cable needles. I will then be able to sit outside in the sunny garden and knit away playing my music on my earphones with a drink at my side. I won’t say I won’t keep getting up and doing something else but it will enable me to have something to do outside rather than sit there doing nothing.

I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner because I love knitting, I find it so calm, and following cable patterns stops my mind wandering all over the place. I will be knitting for our toddler grandson. making him little jumpers fo when winter starts.

I will scan the pattern onto my laptop and make the font larger and then print it off and laminate it which will make it easier to read.

To be honest, I am really looking forward to getting started and I haven’t had that feeling of looking forward to something since Pete died.

Love to all.



That sounds really positive - I hope you do find enjoyment in it!

The very last thing I knitted before going back to work in the late 1970’s was a cable cardigan for Peter, the one with the football buttons. He was 6 ft 4 ins tall so the cardigan was massive and really heavy. I remember washing it and instead of drying it flat I hung it on the washing line to dry. When he came to wear it it had got longer and was down to his ankles. I can still see him washing our Ford Anglia car on a winter’s day, wearing the cardigan underneath his donkey jacket. Bless him. I wish I had a photograph. I could not stop laughing. All Peter said to me was ‘Please don’t knit me anything else’.


It’s good you have a hobby, well done you.

I’d like a hobby too. I have too much time on my hands now. I gave up working in December 2020 to care for my Valerie who passed 12/04/2021. I’ll not be returning to paid work, I’m 65 and just couldn’t face it.
I had planned on retiring at 66 and spend more time together with Valerie.
I don’t know what I’ll do now.
I’m mind numbingly lonely, bored, sad and have no motivation to do anything, struggle to get up out of bed some days. Don’t understand how the house has become so quiet.

Best wishes and take care.

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I am trying to continue with the gardening but it’s isn’t the same without him there. We always loved travelling and taking photos (he had good camera equipment) but travel wouldn’t be the same without someone to share the joy with.


No it’s not the same without your loved one there. I’m so sorry he’s been taken from you.

Last summer I changed our back garden from gravel and a pond to grass lawn and a sitting area.
Valerie loved sitting in the sun and reading her Kindle.
The grass has taken better than expected and I have cut it a few times already this year.
Valerie would have loved the new garden. I hope I can get motivated to finish it off for her now she’s not here.

I wish I hadn’t been born… But then I wouldn’t have met and loved Valerie.
So I am thankful for the past years with her.

Take care.

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We were in the process of getting someone to come and put a decking / seating area in. I think I shall still have it done as we’d planned it together.

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Hello Sheila,
What a wonderful idea. I am like you in that I haven’t touched my Cross stitch (to which I was addicted) since Tony died. I loved it so much and Tony used to joke that he’d have to feed me intravenously so I didn’t have to stop! Those were the days!
I now get days when I feel a twinge of wanting to stitch again, but then it goes away. Oh well, maybe one day I can do it again, but it won’t be the same without him coming to admire what I am doing. He always took such an interest in all my hobbies and even joined me sometimes and took them up himself. We were such a team. Hobbies mean little without him.

Dear Ann,

I haven’t knitted since our children were toddlers in the 70’s and then life got very busy. I started knitting again when I retired but then Peter got ill and I didn’t have the time or the inclination or even patience to knit. After Peter died I could not sit in the garden alone as we spent so many hours working in the garden when he was fit and sitting out when he started being ill so I did what needed doing and then went inside. I thought if I had something to do it would keep me occupied and reading was a no no as I have problems with my eyes so the print was too small and my Kindle screen was unreadable in the sun. Hence the knitting began. Since I started I have spent every afternoon sitting in the garden knitting away. I do my chores in the morning, have lunch and then go outside. I have just about finished a jumper for our toddler grandson and have wool for three more. It has been fantastic, sitting in the sun doing something I love, I also have my earphones on playing our 60’s music. I didn’t realise how much I missed sitting in our beautiful garden. I was like yourself, such a short attention span, do something, stop, do something else. Even when knitting I put it down and did something else then went back to it but with it being so lovely and sunny recently, I have got stuck into it I am now hooked again.


Dear Sheila,
I am so glad for you. It is wonderful that you feel you can knit again, and, although I didn’t know your husband, he sounded like mine and would be pleased to see you getting pleasure out of something again. I know it’s hard for life to go on, but it must, and we have to accept that, or go under.
Now, where did I put my cross stitch?!
Hugs, Ann x

Your cardigan story has made me smile
ive just joined the community as I lost my Mom March 2020 and have really struggled to come to terms with it
but you made me think of a time when we laughed
she had knitted herself a cardigan and she used to wear it all the time
she went to work in it once and when she put her hands in the pockets they were full of pegs from taking the washing in of the line :slight_smile:

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Hi LarryVal
Do you have an area in your garden that could be your tribute to Val
you could buy a beautiful statue and have some pretty pots with flowers in her favourite colours

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Thank you Ann,

I never in a million years thought that I would be looking forward to sitting in the garden without Peter but knitting keeps my mind occupied and it is not wondering all over the place thinking of what used to be, because I chose a difficult knitting pattern to start with and I have so many needles and cable needles on the go I don’t know if I am knitting, purling or cabling, I have to write everything down on paper and mark it off when I have done it. I can honestly say it has been a pleasure sitting in the garden these last few days.

Please give your cross stitch another go sitting in the garden on a lovely day you will be surprised how having to concentrate helps.

In my younger days I cross stitched, embroidered the corners of handkerchiefs and crocheted but I found I loved knitting the most.


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ah you are very talented
my Mom taught me to sew im going to push myself into having a go at it again but we have had a puppy and he is into everything at the moment :slight_smile:

Continuing the discussion from Starting a new hobby.:

Dear Tess,

It is the first time in 45 years that I have picked up a pair of knitting needles. I did it just so I could sit in the garden, because just sitting there doing nothing. was heartbreaking without Peter. Knitting passes the time and gets gives me some natural vitamin D into my bones. I used to be such an avid reader but the small print in the books made it impossible as I have eye problems and my Kindle tablet is useless in the sun as you can’t see the screen.

Inside my home I mess about, clean, watch TV go on the laptop so I am kept busy but outside in the garden was the worst time for me as we used to spend so many hours just sitting together, talking, having a cup of coffee or tea and I found myself in tears more than once thinking about what used to be.

At last I have now found a way of getting through the summer days instead of staying inside the house when it is a lovely sunny day.


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