Still can’t believe it

I still can’t believe my dads gone, he died in July of multiple myeloma and renal failure, had 3 good years with treatment, I took him every week for check ups as mum doesn’t drive… I still can’t believe it 3 months later… is that normal?

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My mum passed away last month. It does feel unreal, I knew the day would come when mum would no longer be here, but it’s so difficult dealing with the reality. The grief is horrendous.

Hi Debbs

I am sorry to read about the loss of your Dad and so recently. It must have been such a hard time for you and him all the hospital appointments and checkups. Always so tiring to go through and I bet he was so glad you were with him to support him. Your Mum too, a relief for her to know he had you there. Three years is a long time caring for someone so ill, you are and have been very brave.

I can imagine after three months that it doesn’t feel real yet, you may even be suffering from shock still. There is a horrible dream like feeling at first that it cant really be happening.

I lost my Mum just over two years ago and still have times when I can’t believe it has happened. Thankfully the initial rawness has gone somewhat and I can remember and treasure the happy memories of times spent together. I too went to hospital appointments with my Mum so she would have someone to sit with her. I almost missed those appointments afterwards which felt odd.

I do hope things will feel better for you in time. Sadly it is harder some days than others but the rotten days will gradually be outnumbered by better times.

Keep coming back to this site if you need help and advice. People are kind and happy to advise.


So sorry for your loss. I wish I could say the grief is horrendous… I just still feel so numb. I also knew the day would come but that still doesn’t prepare you does it … there’s a hole, a huge hole, I’m just waiting for the hurt to hit me, I’m sure it will soon.

Hi Mel yes I miss those appointments too, my dad would walk in to haematology and kiss all the nurses, call the consultants by their first names, and say hello and chat to all the other patients, it was lovely, I have popped in to haematology since he passed away, hugs all round. I’m still so numb.
I’m so sorry for your loss but glad to hear the memories are there to treasure.

D x

Hi Debbs,

I don’t think it ever feels real…especially when you have you have been there to help and support. He was a huge part of your life. I’m sorry for your loss too. Keep posting here, we are all there to support. x

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