I don’t know where to start this because it feels self indulgent. It’s coming up to 3 years since I lost my wonderful husband. I feel that I shouldn’t moan because there’s others on here are recently bereaved and struggling. I too was on here at that time and it helped me so much. I don’t know how I’ve survived 3 days let alone nearly 3 years but for those who have lost their loved ones, you do. You get through hour to hour, morning to afternoon, then a full day, a month, a year. Yes I’ve cried, screamed at him to come home and been through all the phases that you do. I eventually joined a hobby group and eventually found my creative side again. I’ve been on holiday, made huge efforts to ‘get out there’, been on holiday with friends and taken on a fabulous voluntary role. BUT! For the last few weeks I’ve felt sad, lost and lonely. I’m angry again that we have been robbed of our retirement together and I don’t know how to deal with it at this time. People expect you to be ‘ok’ now but I’m not. I have a daughter who is getting on with her life. I see her when she wants something largely or wants me to babysit. Neither am I ready to share my life with anyone else even if I could ( nearly 70) and I feel that I no longer have options. Sorry for the long post but I really don’t know what to do. Thanks for listening x
Hi @Nurse1,
I’m so sorry to hear about your husband, but I’m glad you found the community so helpful.
There is no timeline for grief, and it’s completely normal to feel the way that you do.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share our support options with you to help you with your grief.
You might already be familiar with our other Online Bereavement Support services, but if not, you can find out more about our Online Counselling service, our Grief Coach text support service, and our Grief Guide self-help tools by visiting the link.
Please do keep talking and take care of yourself,
Becca
Online Community Team
Hi. Have just read your post. I find it very inspirational that you have managed the last 3 years. I lost my hubby in November 2023. I can’t even imagine getting through the 1st year.
One thing I’ve learnt from reading different posts on here. It doesn’t matter if it’s been 20 years. People still have rough times. Don’t be hard on yourself. Keep doing what you’re doing.
Sending hugs 
Sending you big hugs back. You keep going! It’s very early days for you. I remember reading posts on here thinking ‘I wish I was years down the line’ and I wouldn’t feel the pain so much. Sadly you do, not all the time, you learn to live with it. The empty house feeling lessens with time but grief comes in waves, sometimes lapping at your feet, some days like a tsunami. You learn to live with it and there is a future although it’s hard to imagine. 
Hi Nurse1 I’ve learnt by being on here there isn’t a time line for grieving I haven’t reached the 1st anniversary yet I’m dreading it get emotional just thinking about it but being on here I get great comfort so sorry about your loss