I was a full time carer for mum she had dementia,i lost her 8 months ago,and at times the feeling of loss is unbearable,i feel broken and that im going to feel like this forever
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Hi Blitzen,
I’m sorry for your loss.
I lost my lovely Dad just over five months ago and I too, feel very broken. I feel completely changed as a person and very lost.
I am told that my loss is still very recent and raw. I don’t know when or if things will improve. So much of my identity was being my fathers daughter and it feels like my purpose is gone.
I don’t have any wisdom to add but you are not alone.
Xx
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Dear @Blitzen
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your mum and that you feel broken. You are still in the early stages of grief which has no time limits.
Losing a parent is hard as they leave a big hole in your life. You need to take one day at a time and be gentle with yourself. There will be good days and bad days, it is a rollercoaster ride of emotions, all of which are normal. Grief is a journey and not a race and everyone’s journey is different. You will not feel the way you are forever as in time you learn to accept the loss of your mum but this does not mean you will forget her or love her any less.
There is a useful blog on Losing a Parent which may be of help to you along with the following resources by Sue Ryder.
- Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS. This will be also helpful for family and friends.
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
If you have not done so already, I would book an appointment with your doctor and let them know how you are feeling and to see what support they can give you. It might be useful just to have a talk with your doctor.
You are not alone, we the Community understand the pain you are going through and are here for you. Come here and chat at any time.
Take care of yourself. Sending you hugs.
Peppers xx
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Thank you,i sometimes wonder if sons have a bond with mothers and daughters have a bond with their dads,seeing mum get taken by dementia,as a carer and son i seem to deal with it almost like auto pilot and now its coming out in me
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Hi Blitzen,
Thank you for your reply. I think you are right and losing a parent is such a profound loss that it will take time to adjust. I have found the grief very isolating as it seems that society expects that we can carry on as normal but that’s not my experience. I try to just get through each day.
I have found lots of support here.
Take care
Xx
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