Still feeling Traumatised after losing my Dad

It’s been 3 months since my Dad passed away aged 76 suddenly in hospital after having an operation. I was called and went to the hospital The shock of seeing him lying there unconscious (on morphine) has not left me, I feel sick and physically broken trying to come to terms with him not knowing he was going to die and also the impact covid lockdowns etc had on him and his mental health. He was caring for his wife who had recently been diagnosed with cancer. Her diagnosis had left him heartbroken and he was anticipating being left without her not realising that his health was deteriorating and he’d be gone before her. Dad remarried many years ago and I’ve always felt part of his new family. But since his death things have been different and I feel completely cut off from them. I haven’t yet been back to his home since the day he died or been able to have any of his personal belongings.
We’ve had the post mortem results but they are fairly complicated and inconclusive. I thought it would be easier once we knew the cause of his death but he was treated at two different hospitals and the post mortem results only discuss what happened at the hospital where he died.
How do I unravel all the feelings of despair, anger, heartache, sadness and emptiness?
I haven’t been to work since the day he passed away it’s like it happened yesterday some days I can’t cope with the fact that my life goes on without him

1 Like

Dear @Alexandra1

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. You are going through a difficult time but please know you are not alone. Do you have friends that can support you?

Have you considered booking an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred for Counselling or to see if there are any other support services in your area?

It might be worth considering some one to one counselling if you are interested. You can find out about the free online counselling service Sue Ryder provides here.

If you would like to chat to some one there is the Samaritans. If you would like details of more organisations please email

Please continue to reach out here and connect with other members. If you look under the topic Losing a parent this will connect you to other members who have experienced what you have been through.

Take Care.


Hi Pepsi
Thank you I am trying to get counselling, I’ve had mental health support in the last few years after a previous bereavement which was my best friend who also died very suddenly abroad in February 2019 which also resulted in me being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Ive also had depression for many years. I was referred back to the services by my Gp just before my Dad passed away. They then signposted me to Mind and did me a referral I’m waiting for an assessment and I also contacted Cruse. Both I’ve been on waiting lists for since he died. I wanted to access Sudden but they were not taking on any new clients at the time. I feel like the more time that goes by the deeper my grief is getting and I wont know where to start to deal with it.
I have friends they haven’t experienced the trauma as they lost family they knew were ill and prepared for them dying.
This was just out of the blue and it’s hurting to think about all I feel is sadness and pain I can’t grasp the good memories or feel any peace. I don’t feel my Dad is at peace either I feel he’s restless and troubled.
Not sure what else to do I was hoping to have had some counselling, support before I go back to work.