Still grieving... help

Is there anything, that anyone knows to help get over the loss of a person close to you?

Hi Sally,

I’m so sorry that you have lost someone close to you. Do you feel like writing a little more about who you have lost and when this happened? I could then point you towards some other people with similar experiences.

There is no set timeline on grief, and it does take much longer than most people think to start to feel better. A lot of people find it isn’t that helpful to think about “getting over it”, as your loss will always be with you. Instead, it can be helpful to think about your life growing around your grief, so the grief will still be there, but there will be more room for positive experiences in your life as well.

There are no shortcuts through this process, and people normally find that their emotions can be very up and down. However, one thing that tends to help is being able to share your emotions, whether that’s by talking with friends and family, seeing a professional counsellor, or writing things down on a site like this one.

Our free booklet ‘Coping with grief: What got me through’ is a collection of tips from bereaved people who have shared some things that have helped them. Order the grief tips booklet.

If there’s anything I can help with, or you have any questions about the Sue Ryder Online Community, just let me know.

Community Manager

Hi Priscilla. Thank you for your message. I lost my grandfather, to stomach cancer nine years ago. We were close which makes it even harder for me to handle. I regret not saying goodbye and that I loved him. At the beginning of my grief I blamed everyone, is that normal?

Yes, anger is a very normal part of grief, and this can find different targets, including blaming others. Guilt and regrets are also very normal. However, it is not just saying goodbye that matters, but the whole of your relationship with the person. As you were so close to him, he probably felt loved by you, even if you didn’t get the chance to say it.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to start writing things down here, I hope it’s a good outlet for you.

It is. Thank you

I’m happy this site exists. My family expect me to get over it. The worst part was seeing him waste away.

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