Hi all
I am still grieving my mum gained her angel wings 
in 2022 and I am finding it incredibly hard as I don’t have any other family members close to me they have all past I have to uncles that hurt my mum before she passed away so I don’t have anyone to talk to I am going through a rough time I left my partner in November 2025 but he keeps on at me because he still loves me but I don’t him he willnt leave me alone I had a brother that now I don’t talk to due to him being selfish I fell over about 6 weeks ago but I had a bad accident in 2014 I fell over damaged my back I have been to hospital but they just said get on with it a few weeks ago I just didn’t want to live anymore all I wanted was to talk to my mum because she was always there and know i felt totally on my own now I broke down shut down in November I want to fell asleep and leave the pain behind me but it just got to much I know people will say grow up get on with it but when your in pain 24/7 it’s hard got some counciling but not for about two months time x I don’t go out due to the pain it’s in my lower back my mum had the same problem what do I do xx
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Hello Sacha49.
Firstly, my i express my sympathies at the passing of your beloved mum in 2022.
You have gone through a lot and are putting up with a lot currently. Being alone and having no one to support you is incredibly hard. I am glad to hear that you have some counselling lined up even though it takes a while to sort. I know because I am still waiting for mine.
No one can ever replace the unconditional love of a mam. I truly believe that. I miss my mam so much. She passed away 9 weeks ago. We had lived together 60 years. For the first time in all that time, I am on my own. It is heartbreaking.
Do you talk to your mum? I do all of the time. It obviously isn’t perfect but it helps me a little.
I am crying every day, many times a day too. I just want mam back in her chair so I can care for her.
I am far from being an expert and I know that trying to see a GP these days is a difficult task, but have you considered seeing them about your back problems? I know it isnt easy. Mam had a collapsed spine about five years ago plus curvature of her spine. She was always in pain, but somehow, she never complained. I don’t know how she did it.
Could you also speak to your GP about your feelings now and your grief? Apologies if you have already done so. I don’t know if you post on here often or not, but it might help to keep posting messages on here. Try the different categories for loss.
God bless and I send you all my kindest regards and best wishes Stephen 
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